Memories of you
by Ataraxie
Summary: Three years ago, Sirius Black left. Now that he's returned, Hermione, not so happily married to Ron, remembers all the good moments that she spent with him the year after her graduation... And the bad moments too. AU - SB-HG.
1. Chapter 1

Hi there!

Here's my translation of my own fiction _A nos souvenirs perdus_. If you can read french, well, you can find it on my page and read it. ;) If not... I hope that you'll be nice with me since english is not - at all - my mother tongue. :D But I try to do my best, and I hope that the mistakes that I can make will not stop you to like this story, I really do.

Don't hesitate to tell me when something's wrong, and of course, if you enjoy this beginning.

* * *

_London, November 17, 2003_

November was here. And with it, the sun was shinning with some difficulty on London that day. Temperatures had suddenly fallen the night before, and it's wrapped in a long red coat that Hermione arrived at the Ministry around nine o'clock. She released her nose from her scarf and was finally able to breathe freely. While she was about to take the elevator, her assistant walked in her direction, with a lot of documents in her arms, looking worried.

"Ms Weasley, we just received an urgent case concerning the flight of Hippogriffs southward. People are worried, and..."

"Give them to me, Clara. I'll take care of it this morning, thanks" she said, sneaking on the elevator, with the documents against her chest.

By pressing the "4" button, she thought about her father-in-law, Arthur Weasley, who had managed to make the Ministry yield concerning the utility of elevators few months ago. They were still in a test period, but wizards somehow accommodated themselves to this "new technology" as they called it. After a few seconds, the elevator stopped, and Hermione went to her office, located at the end of a corridor with red walls. She had personally decided the color, and she was satisfied with it since.

When she sat in her chair, she threw a glance at the clock in front of her. 9:30 am. With a sigh, she thought about Ron who was probably still sleeping, exhausted having spent the previous night partying. He had returned around 5:30 am, while his wife's night was coming to an end. He had tried to make as little noise as possible, but it was useless. Hermione had opened her eyes when she heard the key turn in the lock of the front door, and had been trying to sleep since. He had gone to bed without a word, and after a few moments, deep snores were heard, waking her definitely up. Hermione had thus spent an hour reading her backlog, before getting for a long day.

"And it promises to be long..." she sighed, absently flipping through the folder that Clara just gave her.

Clara was a young girl, lively and efficient. It was for this reason that Hermione did not hesitate a single second during her interview. Clara was the perfect assistant, always preparing the files before transmitting them to Hermione, pruning unnecessary or redundant passages, and she also wrote the best briefs in the world. Hermione was satisfied with her work, and had even managed during their three years of unique collaboration to bind a strong friendship. Clara was there for her when she needed it, and the reverse was true.

She was even invited to her wedding with Ron two years ago, and had held the role of bridesmaid, as well as Ginny Weasley. However, Clara continued to and called "Mrs. Weasley" at work. It had confused Hermione a little at first, but she was finally used to the situation. Right out of the Ministry, Clara found _Hermione_, and their friendship could recover.

The thorny issue of Hippogriffs ... Hermione thought that the situation had improved with the deployment of nets that prevent magical creatures from arising at the farmers' crops, but they finally found a trick: settle more forward or farther, and they went to the crops on foot, to plunder them.

It had been three years since the young woman worked at the Ministry as Head of the office concerning magical creatures. She accepted right away, thinking that this would allow her to defend the magical creatures, but she had quickly realized that she should more often force them instead of helping them. And yet, she loved her job because, she said herself, she was one of the few to show humanity towards these creatures, which was not the case of all the people who were interested by her position.

Many told her to be inspired by the dragons supposed to protect safes at Gringotts, which had finally associated pain to the sound of a bell. But Hermione was fiercely opposed to it. On the one hand, this act was barbarous in her eyes, and just the thought of seeing a Hippogriff as Buck suffering because he was trying to feed itself disgusted her. And on the other hand, this kind of plan based on animal suffering was only possible for a limited number of magical creatures who were educated like that since birth. It was thus impossible to submit in this way free creatures. This was the point that she had defended in a recent article in the Daily Prophet, where she had announced to the whole wizard community the advances which had taken place and which were about to become reality concerning the protection of magical creatures. She had many positive reactions, but she could not forget the harsh criticism which were also legion. Draco Malfoy for example did not hesitate to draw a parallel between the magical and Muggle creatures, qualifying her work of "lost cause." In public, Hermione put up a good show, but inside, she could not refrain from hating Draco even more, if it was possible.

The most peaceful solution would be to settle barriers on the ground at the entrance of the problematic zone. But she knew she was going to incur the wrath of defenders of ecology who would look in a wrong way on these barriers which distorted nature. With a sigh, Hermione took a sip of the coffee that Clara always put down on her desk a few minutes before her arrival. She could not chase Hippogriffs of the South, nor confined them to a particular region, it would be against her principles. She decided to organize a meeting with all the actors of the agricultural world who complained abount the plunder of Hipogriffs on their land. With luck, they would be able to find a solution together, she said without really believing it. Hermione therefore drafted a letter informing of a meeting in the Ministry in a little less than a month, and transferred it to Clara that would take care to duplicate it and send it to the interested persons.

The morning quickly passed, and she could, at 1 p.m, to take her lunch break. She put on her coat and found Clara on the ground floor. Then they headed to their favorite restaurant, an Italian at the corner of the street. They came here several times a week, and Hermione always hesitated between their pizzas with parmesan cheese and their exquisite pastas. That day, she opted for a dish of lasagna with vegetables, just to change her habits.

"So, this folder on Hippogriffs? You've decided to have a meeting, then?", asked Clara, before enjoying her pasta dish with mushrooms and sundried tomatoes, the recipe of the day. "These pastas are to die for, Hermione, really."

"Undoubtedly, Clara" she replied with a smile before continuing. "So yes, a meeting in three weeks. I do not know if it's a good idea, you know how turn the meetings most of the time ... Between those who think only of their crops, those who want compensation, those who suggest to simply kill Hippogriffs... We have to find a compromise solution, as usual."

"You'll get there, I'm sure. Be firm and inflexible, and the solution will impose itself."

Hermione sighed and nodded.

"I hope so. Our last record went sour after this critic on the Daily... The interview that followed the disaster helped a bit to restore my reputation, but I do not think that's enough. A final misstep like last time, and ... I do not know if I could bear this pressure again, Clara."

"But of course you do! And I frankly doubt that a file like last time will represent itself. In addition, let me say that you did a very good job about it. Few people could have taken a drastic solution as you did. Giving house elves a full status was a very good idea, and the future will confirm it. And eat your lasagne, they are going to cool", Clara concludes with a look at her plate.

"You're right. It was a case which meant a lot to me, I don't regret what I did. Besides, I do not regret the decision I took. I just regret the outcry it sparked."

"I have no doubt. I change the subject, but how are things with Ron since the last time?"

Hermione sighed and began to play on her plate, as she did whenever Clara addressed a subject she wanted to avoid.

"How to begin... Nothing has really changed, he is still distant. I can not explain why though. He often told me - well, when he deigns to speak to me - that Quidditch exhausts him, and the pressure is strong in this environment. I can understand ... His team only have to fifth place in the tournament so far, and we are almost half of the season" she sighed.

"Yes, but this is not a reason to treat his wife as he does, I hope that you agree with me on this point."

"I know... And then, it's been almost a year since the situation degraded."

"Since Ginny announced her pregnancy" ended Clara on her place.

Hermione did not answer right away, lost in her thoughts at the mention of her friend's pregnancy. Ginny gave birth to a beautiful little girl more than five months ago, and Hermione had been by her side during the childbirth. Harry was abroad that day, as Ginny gave birth two months before her due. He shortened his trip in Los Angeles as soon as he had known, but everything had happened so fast that he did not attend the birth of his daughter, Aurora. The little girl had survived, for the greatest joy of her parents and relatives. She was adorable, and Hermione loved spending time with her. But not enough to want a child on her side. Ron had stepped himself since they had spoken about it, following the announcement of the pregnancy of her sister. Convinced that his wife wants a child, he had spoken to her about it with enthusiasm, without thinking that he was going to find himself in front of a wall. Hermione did not want to have children, not now, and it was possible that she will never want one.

Since then, her husband had gone away from her, spending the night away from home a lot of time without she dares speak to him. She was afraid that the discussion is moving back to the child that he wanted, but she didn"t want to give him.

"I still think that you two should talk, Hermione. A couple can not survive without discussion when things do not go well..." murmured her friend.

"I agree, Clara. But I do not know what to say. The dialogue is broken for too long, I'm afraid."

"It is never too late. Give yourself another chance, and I'm sure everything will be fine. If he had not feelings anymore for you, he would have left a long time ago, trust me."

Hermione smiled at her friend's words, and took a sip of red wine.

"You are certainly right. But tell me, how are things going with George?"

"Ohhhh... Well... I mean, it's only been two weeks, nothing concrete happened if you want to know everything, but he is kind, caring. I wonder how I did not notice his existence for two long months" she said, blushing.

Georges was new to the Ministry. He was the assistant director of the Department of International Magical Cooperation and Hermione greatly appreciated him. It was for this that she had invited him to one of her lunch with Clara there a little more than a month ago, and she had been only half surprised to see her assistant falling under the spell of the young man. Charming, he was. He was tall, with dark hair, and cultivated a three-days stubble that suited him well. His large emerald eyes hypnotized Clara, who had not taken long before accepting his invitation to dinner two days later. The brunette did not talk much about her private life, but Hermione could see at her expression that George was definitely on the way to her heart.

"I'm really happy then. Georges is very nice, I'm glad to see that things work well between you two, really."

The two women finished their meal, and then returned to the Ministry to continue their day. On the short path they should take in order to go back to work, Hermione bought a Daily Prophet, as she did every day. Although she still received a copy at her home in the evening, she could not help but buying one before returning to work. This allowed her to disconnect from work before resuming her day. As she unfolded the Daily to read the headlines, her face darkened. Clara noticed it right away, and questioned her friend.

"Hermione, is there something wrong?"

The latter met the gaze of Clara, and shook his head in denial.

"No, everything is fine" she said with a little smile. I just wonder why I continue to buy this rag while I get it every day at home, how silly I am" she finished, throwing the newspaper in the trash.

Intrigued, Clara wanted to take a look at the newspaper that her friend had just thrown, but Hermione took her by the arm and led her to the entrance of the Ministry

"We have a lot of work today, Miss Saddler, let's go!"

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX**

_Paris, November 17, 2003_

Sirius Black did not dare to leave his hotel room. A glance out the window confirmed his fear: a horde of photographers stood there, waiting only thing : that he goes out. He had thought to Apparate, but he was too tired for that, and be splinched was the last thing he wanted at that moment. He had just nine hours of flight to come to Paris, and the only thing he wanted was to rest. But the press had decided otherwise. The return of Sirius Black in the wizarding world was very surely do sell, he said to himself, casting a glance at the headlines of the Daily Prophet. An old photo of him at his trial five years earlier ate a large portion of the page of the newspaper, and a small legend was down.

**BLACK IS BACK!**

_The former Azkaban's prisoner, who was discharged a few years ago for the murder of James and Lily Potter is back in the Wizard World. He had given no sign of life for three years, and ... Continued on page 6 of this journal._

Sirius sighed. He wanted to have a discreet returned, and it was not really the case. Since he had put a foot on the Parisian ground, he had received a letter from his godson, Harry.

_"Dear Sirius,_

_I just received your letter in which you tell me that you're back among us after so many years of absence. I also hope that my owl will find you, wherever you are. I can not describe you how happy I am to find you! I have so many things to tell you, many events took place in your absence. At the same time, I want to know everything about your life during these three years. I hope to see you again soon. I live at your place - whatever you say, it's always your house - at Grimmauld Place with Ginny. I keep the other news for the moment I will take you in my arms._

_Harry Potter"_

Since then, he had read and reread the letter, wondering what news he might be expected after three years of absence. He had completely cut ties with the magical world that day, three years ago. This day in late September when he decided to leave, leaving just a letter to Harry. He still remembered the words he had put on the parchment, parchment he had left on the dining table in the kitchen.

"_Dear Harry, _

_Perhaps you will wonder where your old godfather is gone. But do not worry. Sometimes we have to take difficult decisions in order to go forward. Sometimes we have to go away in order to go home stronger than ever. Do not try to find me, Harry, I decided to distance myself from the magical world for some time. I will return, be sure that I will. Until then, live your life and live it well. You could not make me happier._

_Sirius Black"_

He toured the world since that day of September. He spent several months in South America, seeking hospitality when he could not do otherwise, living in not very frequentable places sometimes. His most beautiful memory was Australia, where he had lived for a year, with an exquisite family who had hosted him. And then Japan and its beautiful Osaka, Thailand and finally India. A month ago, he finally decided to return to London. He took this decision on a whim, the same way that he did when he had decided to leave London. He felt that his godson needed him. Sirius had suddenly felt guilty. Selfishly, he had abandoned Harry again. It was time for him to set things right.

He cast a glance at his watch. 3:10 p.m.. Its train for London was in less than two hours. He sighed and picked up his suitcase, ready to face the horde of photographers who were waiting for him outside. Arrived at the ground, he put his sunglasses to protect his eyes from the flashes which already crackled. All around him, the questions came.

"Mr. Black, why did you leave London three years ago? Is this still related to suspicions of murder of the Potters?"

"Mr. Black, what is the reason of your return?"

"How come that nobody wasn't able to contact you?"

"Mr. Black, a smile, please..."

Sirius crossed the crowd as he could, and managed to get into a cab waiting outside the hotel. He had not responded to the many questions which journalists had asked him. He was not prepared for all the hype, yet he should have. It was hard for him to forget his past years in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit years ago. And even if he had been cleared, some journalists in lack of sensation always took a malicious delight to remember him this part of his life he was trying to forget.

At the age of 43, he finally managed to turn the page, his journey around the world helped him to make a clean sweep of the past. He had to be a real masochist to want to return to where it all began, he thought. But sometimes you have to face the past in order to move forward. This is what he had learned from various people that he had been next to during those long years away from home. And this was what he was going to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione reached her home around 9 o'clock that night. As expected, the day had been long, and she was eager to take a hot bath to relieve the tension that had accumulated during the long hours seat behind her desk. She took off her coat in the hall, and after putting her keys on the table near the door, she walked into the living room, where was Ron. The latter was lying on the couch watching television, and flicking through without stopping more than ten seconds on a channel. Hermione sighed. She had introduced Ron and Arthur with this "jewel of technology" as Arthur often called it during a family visit to the parents of the young woman a year earlier. Ron had decided at her greatest despair that a TV was indispensable. Since then, he had spent – and still spent - his free time to vegetate in front of the screen when there was no Quidditch match or practice.

"Oh, you're home" he threw without looking at her.

"I did not expect to finish that late, but I had a last minute meeting with the..."

"It's okay, don't worry. What do we eat?"

Hermione froze. The same question crossed his lips every night. When he deigned to be present for dinner of course. She could not help thinking that he had been at home all day, and he would have been able to make an effort this time. But Ronald was not the kind to take decisions, he preferred to delegate everything to Hermione, it was easier that way. Hermione took off her cardigan, and replied.

"The rest of the turkey that I cooked last night is in the fridge. Don't wait for me" she said, heading for the bathroom.

She quickly shut and leaned against the cold door. The situation became untenable, and she did not know if she would stand it much longer. The detachment from her husband towards her, his lack of involvement ... All contributed to make her lose hope. Hermione slowly approached the basin, above which sat a huge mirror. She looked at her face and noticed that her makeup was slightly spun, like every night after a long day at work. She grabbed a cotton that she imbibed with micellar water before passing it on her face. Here, she like to recover the habits she had in the Muggle world. She loved these rituals, which gave her the impression of being in perpetual holiday at his parents' house. Ron often mocked the creams she used, typically Muggle, or her obsession with her straightener. But Hermione did not formalized. She loved these objects, which gave a down- to-earth side to her life. They reassured her, in a way.

Having removed all the mak-up from her face, she opened the hot and cold water taps, threw a little shower gel in the water and undressed completely until the bathtub fills. She raised her hair with a rubber band and entered the warm water after a few moments. Hermione let escape a sigh when she llengthened completely in the tub, suddenly feeling good. She finally realized that she had forgotten the book she had started a few days ago, and that she always read in her evening bath. "I will continue it tomorrow..." she thought , sinking deeper into the hot water.

The memories of the day began to emerge in her mind, and she remembered the moment when she bought the Daily Prophet out of the restaurant with Clara. She remembered this plucking in the heart she had felt when she had read the first page headline "**Black is back**!".

- Sirius ... she let escape.

He had disappeared three years earlier, and had given no sign of life since. She had tried to send him an invitation to her marriage to Ron, but her owl had returned to her two weeks later , the letter in its beak. She had not insisted , saying that it was finally for the best. Anyway, she had invited him only by decency towards his best friend, Harry. Nothing would have put her more ill-at-ease than to see him again.

Hermione closed her eyes, recalling memories she had somehow tried to forget the past four years...

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmauld Place, July 13, 1998_

_"To your success in your NEWT!" shouted Sirius Black, a glass of champagne in his hand._

_Gathered around the living room coffee table, all the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione raised their glasses in accord. A smile was drawn on all the faces, as there was nothing more beautiful than to celebrate a collective success. Of course , the hierarchy was respected : Hermione had obtained the best results, validating all her materials with Optimal in nine of ten subjects, and Ron and Harry fought for the second place with seven subjects validated each of the nine they had crossed._

_Molly and Arthur could not be more proud , especially after Fred and George's abandonment three years ago. Certainly their shop worked pretty well, but as a mother, Molly could only regret not having seen her twins graduate from the prestigious School of Witchcraft._

_For the occasion, Hermione was wearing a rather short red dress, consisting of a strapless corset for the top, and a tulle skirt that emphasized her long legs. To complete her outfit, she had opted for black heels, and she could not help but regretting her choice. She had thought they would all be classy for the occasion - Merlin, we are only celebrating our NEWT once! - and she was totally wrong. Ron had decided to put his eternal pants and a tank top, and Harry did the same. Even Ginny had not made an extra effort , to her greatest despair. Hermione finally saw Sirius who put a costume, and was relaxed. She was not the only one to be over dressed , and it reassured her._

_She carried the glass of champagne to her lips and took a swig. The sensation was not of the most pleasant, but she got quickly used to it. Harry and Ron approached her, and asked her the question that itched them for several hours._

_"So Hermione" Harry began "have you decided what you're going to do now that you have your NEWT?"_

_"Harry and I already decided if you're interested" added Ron, looking excited._

_"Not really guys" the girl replied with a smile. "I am tempted by many things actually. I have the chance to do whatever I want with the results I got, and I'm just afraid of making the wrong choice. You do realize that I can take training at St. Mungo's to become Chief Healer, I can take the head of a Department of the Ministry if I want to, or go abroad to refine my knowledge and become a Potions Master in a few years... I must say that all this choice scared me a little" she said._

_"To be honest, I really see you in the Ministry, Hermione. I think that you'll miss your books at St. Mungo's, you've always been more cerebral than practical. But I could be wrong" Harry added._

_"You are not wrong, Harry... But tell me, what are you going to do, you two?"_

_"We are accepted for a prestigious training to become Aurors!" Ron exclaimed._

_Having heard his last sentence, all the guests turned to them, and Molly ran to take Ron and Harry in her arms._

_"Oh, I'm so happy , you can't know how much I am my dear boys! Two Aurors in the family, what a joy!"_

_Molly always considered Harry as her son. She showed a bigger reluctance towards Hermione, but the latter didn't hold it against her. She always had her parents with her, unlike Harry, and it was the most important._

_Sirius also advanced to the trio, and hugged Harry in his arms after he was freed by Molly._

_"Congratulations my boy, your father would have been proud of you, I'm sure.'_

_He shook hands later with Ron and then turned to Hermione, a smile on his face._

_"And you, Hermione? An idea of the ideal career?"_

_"Not really, I still hesitate between different sectors, I give myself the summer to think."_

_Sirius nodded in approval, and then approached her slightly, as if to give them some privacy amid all the Weasleys._

_"I did not have the opportunity to say it earlier, but... Beautiful dress, Miss Granger" he whispered in her ear._

_Hermione watched him going away, not without seeing the wink that he systematically launched at its "prey" as he liked to call them, and the girl felt a wave of heat over her body, blushing her cheeks at the same time. Had he just complimented her?_

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxX**

"Hermione!"

Ron 's voice took her out of her torpor, and she sat up quickly in the bath which was becoming cold. Cursing herself, she quickly got up and pulled on a bathrobe embroidered with a crest of Gryffindor by going out of the bathtub. She left the bathroom in this outfit, and headed for the living room, where she found Ron in the same position that she had left him : collapsed in the sofa.

"I call you since at least ten minutes" he grumbled, still not looking at her.

"I was lost in my thoughts, sorry..."

"I had dinner. I thought something had happened to you in the bathroom, that reassured me."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, fascinated her husband's reaction. He thought that something happened to her, and yet he had not deigned to come directly to the bathroom to knock on the door, merely calling her from afar. Charming, she said to herself, in going to the coffee table where he had left his plate and his dirty flatware. She took them into the kitchen and put them in the sink, before taking a yogurt that she quickly ate, leaning against the worktop.

Without a word to Ron, Hermione then went to their room to change for the night. It was almost 10 o'clock , and she was exhausted. She gently slipped into bed, and lulled by the sound of the television, she fell asleep.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmauld Place , November 17, 2003_

It was almost 10 o'clock, and Aurora was still awake. Ginny had reviewed all her needs, and they were all satisfied. However, the little five-months old girl did not stop crying. In these moments, Ginny often passed the relay to Harry who always managed to calm their daughter, but he was not there. At least he had a good reason this time : he had fetched Sirius at the train station, and they would return soon.

A smile on her face, Ginny got up from the chair that was near Aurora's cradle, her little marvel in her arms and tried hard to rock her once again. After a few minutes this time, the little girl with black hair began to close her eyes, and eventually joined the arms of Morpheus while the door on the lower floor opened. Ginny gently placed Aurora in her crib, praying that she does not wake up, and seeing that she was still sleeping, she made off, joining Harry and Sirius.

Arrived at the bottom of the stairs, Ginny cringed at the sight of the godfather of the man who shared her life. He had... Changed. The expression of his eyes was the same, and yet she could not help noticing his physical evolution. He had first swapped his shoulder-length hair to a short cut, which was now strewed with fine white hair. His face, usually so smooth, was eaten by a beard of more than three days which suited him well, showing his gray eyes. The man smiled at her, putting his bag on the floor, and Ginny went to him to hold him in her arms.

"Welcome home, Sirius" she whispered in his ear as she freed him from her embrace.

"It is also yours, my dear Ginny."

Harry gave a questioning look to his wife, and she nodded , her sign to him to say that their daughter was already asleep. Harry then turned to his godfather.

"I told you about some news in my letter, and I have not still had the opportunity to tell you. I wanted you to see it. Follow me."

Intrigued , Sirius followed Harry upstairs, Ginny on his heels. They walked a long corridor, which had been repainted as Sirius noted it, and gently pushed open a door that was on the left. Harry urged him to make no noise by placing a finger on his mouth, and they entered the room of the little girl who was sleeping peacefully.

Sirius noiselessly approached the cradle and stared at the child's head who was turned towards him. After a few moments, he turned to his godson and Ginny, and had an unreadable expression, between joy and misunderstanding. After they had left the room, Sirius let his joy explode.

"You two ? You got a little girl?"

Harry took Ginny gently by the waist, and nodded.

"Her name is Aurora. She's five months old, and I would not have been able to have a more adorable little girl, believe me. She is an angel."

"I'm really happy for you two. She is beautiful" he said, putting a fatherly hand on the shoulder of his godson.

While discussing their new responsibilities as parents, Ginny and Harry walked to Sirius's room that they renovated a year earlier. The last renovation was completly in his taste, the room seemed even bigger than usual that way.

"Have you got any plans for tomorrow night Sirius?" asked Harry while his godfather was sitting on his bed and had brought his bag with his wand.

"No, nothing planned. To tell you the truth, I had planned to shut myself up here for a while, just as all the hype around my return to London have the time to calm down... If you do not mind, of course" he added, suddenly thinking of Aurora.

"No, I remind you that this is your home too" Harry replied with a friendly smile. You will not thus be against a small dinner at home to celebrate your return?"

"I ashall be even delighted , Harry."

"Okay, then I 'll warn Molly and Arthur, as well as Ron and Hermione. Have a good night, rest well" he concluded, pointing to the door along with Ginny.

"Ron and ... Hermione ?"

Did he hear that well? Harry frowned and remembered a detail which went back to already four years now.

"Oh, yes, you don't certainly be aware of it, but Hermione returned from her trip a few weeks after your departure. What a pity that you don't have the time to see her before you leave. She tried to contact you two years ago, but as my letters, hers came back some time later. It was for her marriage to Ron."

Sirius made sure to not let anything appear in front of Harry and Ginny, and gave them a forced smile.

"Very well then. I can't wait to be tomorrow night, it turns out that I missed a lot during my absence..."

Harry and Ginny finally left him alone, and Sirius lenghtened on his bed, staring at the ceiling. So she was back... Perhaps she had waited his departure to finally return to London, who knows? The thought left him with a bitter taste in the mouth, and it is tormented that he closed his eyes to fall into a restful sleep.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmauld Place , July 13, 1998_

_Hermione did not want to let it go. It was already two o'clock in the morning, and the champagne was still flowing freely. Molly and Arthur had returned with some of the Weasley children, leaving Harry, Ron, Ginny, Sirius and herself alone. Molly had promised Ginny not to get drunk, what the girl had accepted while getting another glass of champagne, in the biggest misfortune of her mother._

_Sirius had begun to tell stories about his love life, much to Hermione's despair, but to the greatest enjoyment of Ron and Harry who listened his advices with attention. Very often, Harry's godfather gave her ambiguous looks when he was telling the grittier parts of his "love" stories, and Hermione could not help from raising her eyes to heaven. Did he want to seduce her? If this were the case, it was a thousand places to succeed, and she planned to let him know that as soon as she had the opportunity to do it. She did not intend to be one of these woodcocks who strutted in his arms and disappeared even faster than they had appeared. She was Hermione Granger, not a vulgar girl he met in a bar, she said to herself, getting up to take a glass of water in the kitchen. She had drunk enough for this evening._

_As she opened the cold water tap to use it, she felt a hand slide down her hip, and dropped the glass in the sink which shattered into a thousand pieces. Furious, she turned and crossed the look full of mockery of Sirius Black a few centimeters aways from her face._

_"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you" he said, taking her hand in his to make sure it was not hurt._

_She quickly withdrew her hand from his, as burned, and gave him a killer look._

_"I have nothing, thank you."_

_Sirius watched her, and he suddenly found her a resemblance with a lost deer. She quickly looked down, looking for a loophole, but he laid his hands on the edge of the sink, leaving her no space to escape. She walked slightly, reducing the space between them._

_"Could I leave now?" she asked, looking at him shamelessly._

_The gaze of Sirius fell to meet her lips, and when the girl noticed that he was looking at this part of her face, she was not able to refrain from bitting her lower lip. But why the hell are you doing this?, she asked herself. Sirius smiled slightly by seeing the reaction of the girl, and began to speak in a whisper._

_"A kiss and I let you leave, Princess."_

_Hermione frowned as taken aback and shocked by his proposal. But he still did not move, and she realized that he was not kidding. He really expected her to kiss him, she thought in balancing the pros and cons. She eventually met halfway, and put down a furtive kiss on his cheek._

_"Here we are. May I leave now?" she said, crossing her arms on her chest, sign for her that the discussion was over._

_"After you..." concluded Sirius, by allowing her to pass._

_Hermione walked to the living room, furious. But she was especially furious against herself. Why had she given up?_

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_London, November 18, 2003 at dawn_

Hermione woke up sweaty. This dream had seemed so real to her... And for a good reason, she said herself, passing a hand over her forehead. These moments, she had already lived them and decided to bury them deep in her memory years ago. Why did they come to haunt her only now? Had it something to do with Sirius' return to London? She did not want to believe it, and yet, the announcement of his return seemed real. To her biggest misfortune.

* * *

Here we are. I wanted to post the second chapter quickly, so you have the basis of this fiction. I hope that you like it! Don't hesitate to drop me line to tell me what you think of this beginning. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Clara had just taken place in her office, adjacent to Hermione's one, when George knocked on the door, two coffees in his hands and a smile on the face. Clara stood up quickly and went to him to put down a kiss on his lips and took one of the cup of coffee that he was holding, thanking him.

"I thought that our date was this evening, not now."

"Mmh, good morning to you too" he replied without losing his beautiful smile.

"Hi" she murmured.

The young woman blushed, aware of her lack of manners. She played absently with her files on her desk, to hide her embarrassment. Clara had always struggled with men, and even more when they were handsome. This was the case with George, unfortunately. He always seemed to be amused about it, but she knew that it was always like that at the beginning. They are usually tired of it after a few months, exceeded by her lack of confidence.

And yet, there was nothing to be embarrassed of, George often said. Two days earlier, he had told her how beautiful, intelligent, interesting she was... Clara blushed even more by remembering the adjectives he used to describe her.

"I'm just here to confirm our appointment of tonight. I booked a restaurant a few blocks from here. I thought that we could go around 7 o'clock, is it okay?"

Clara nodded, smiling.

"This is perfect. I'll wait in the hall if you don't mind."

"Very well then. See you tonight" he said before kissing her.

A few seconds later he was gone, and Clara returned to her desk. This was the moment chosen by Hermione to arrive. She passed Clara's office without a word, and the latter heard the door of her office slamming. She didn't seem to be in a good mood.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Hermione had decided not to go out to lunch that day. She ordered a salad that she ate quickly around 1 p.m. and did not leave her office. Clara had tried to reach her on the phone but she didn't deign to reply, merely listening to the messages she left her. Some obviously were about issues she had to deal with at work, but others were more personal. She didn't want to answer to any of them, not now.

She plunged her attention into a folder on a Centaur which was seen not far from London a few days ago. There were some testimonies, and some of these witnesses were Muggles, which wasn't a good thing. Hermione sighed and put her head in his hands, already exhausted by the day.

In the morning, she had received an owl from Ginny and Harry. Even if she was late, she had opened the letter. It wasn't a good idea.

"_Dear Ron and Hermione,_

_As you probably know, Sirius returned to London, and he lives with us at Grimmauld Place. To celebrate it, we invite you to dinner tonight. Be here around 7p.m._

_See you soon,_

_Harry and Ginny_"

Ron was still sleeping when she read the letter, and she had left it on the coffee table so he could read it. Obviously, they had to go to Grimmauld Place, and she had to see Sirius after four years away from him. Her heart began to beat faster at this thought, and she closed her eyes to recover. Everything will be alright, she said herself without believing it much. What was she going to tell him after all this time? She prayed that they would not find themselves alone, nothing could be worse than that. Everything had always talken place when they were alone...

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Grimmauld Place , July 18, 1998_

_Hermione was alone in the library which was located on the ground floor of the house. She had taken place in one of the chairs that stood leaning against a shelf for easier access to the books. She had not wanted to go out with Ron, Harry and Ginny who had decided to test a new bar that just opened in Diagon Alley. She enjoyed their absence to start reading a fiction of Bernadette Tisieux, a well-known author in the wizard world. She was in the second chapter when the library door opened. Hermione quickly turned her head and saw Sirius in the doorway. She could not help but noticing the little smile he always had when she was around. Not knowing what to do, she opted for the easiest way : she turned her back, and she continued to read._

_Sirius watched her intensely. He had to admit that the young witch was not indifferent to him. He had begun to pay her more attention when she came back almost three weeks earlier. She had spent a week with her parents after her graduation, before joining them at Grimmauld Place. He had found her... Different. She had finally grown up, taking a few inches since the last time he had laid his eyes on her, and there were some assurance in her eyes that he had never seen in her before. She intrigued him beyond reason, and he wanted to know why. Her curves had developed, becoming more voluptuous, and he had to tell the truth : she had become a very attractive girl for a playboy like him._

_Sirius had not renounced his past of seducer when he was released from Azkaban, quite the contrary. Sudden fame that came with his release had contributed to its charm, in a way. Women were more receptive to him for his own pleasure. Of course, he wanted to be discreet, but he never said no to the pleasures of the flesh. Life was too short to bother with feelings. At 38, he wanted to finally take full advantage of what life offered him._

_And life seemed to offer him Hermione, he said himself, a smile on his face._

_He slowly approached the girl and put his hands on the back of the chair in which she sat. He felt her jumping slightly, but she did not move. He decided to go around the chair and stood in front of her. After a few moments, she looked up at him, exasperated._

_"Can I help you, Sirius?"_

_Her voice was hard, almost contemptuous. He then thought that the method he used for several days to achieve its purpose was not good : that girl was not an easy prey, not at all._

_"I was worried about you, that's all. I don't like knowing you alone, nothing good happens when you are alone._

_Hermione froze. He worried about her, really? She stared at him for a long time and he seemed to be sincere, for once. She then tried to smile._

_"It's okay, you don't have to worry. And I am very well alone, contrary to what you seem to believe._

_Seeking an escape, she threw a glance at the big clock that was near a bookshelf, a few feet away._

_"Merlin, it's already one in the morning. I'm going to bed" she said, rising from her chair._

_Sirius pulled to the left to let her go, and as she left the library, he followed her. They silently climbed the steps of the staircase leading to the bedrooms. Arrived on the landing, Sirius put a hand on her waist, forcing her to return. He pulled her gently towards him and placed a single kiss on her cheek, near the corner of her lips._

_"Good night..." he murmured before taking the direction of his own room._

_Hermione did not move for a long moment, watching the closed door of the man's room. Then she went into her own room, still in shock at what had just happened. Sirius Black was not ready to give up. So why did she have a small smile on her face?_

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxX**

Sirius woke up at 2 pm. Cursing himself, he quickly pulled a shirt and pants, and went into the lounge. There he found Ginny playing with her daughter. Aurora, he remembered, heading towards them.

"Slept well?" Ginny asked, noting his presence.

Sirius crossed a distracted hand through his hair and sat on the couch.

"Perfectly well. I'd rather wake up earlier, however" he said softly stroking Aurora's hand, who addressed him a questioning look.

In the light of the day, Sirius could finally contemplate her face. She had black hair like her father, but her mother's features. Her eyes, however, were deep green. She had inherited Lily's eyes, her wonderful grandmother who would have been proud to know that his son had managed to start a family. In many ways, the relationship of Ginny and his godson reminded him James and Lily's one. Ginny had red hair as Harry's mother, while the latter strangely looked like his father. And starting a family at this young age was another thing they had in common. Sirius could not help smiling, and Aurora returned it almost immediately.

"She is beautiful Ginny, you have done a remarkable job with Harry."

"Thank you. I did not expect to get pregnant so quickly, but when things happen ..."

"They always happen for a reason" concluded Sirius.

Ginny nodded, and turned her attention to her daughter, who seemed to have to be changed given the odor that emanated from her.

"Excuse me, Sirius, I'll be there in a minute" she said, heading to her room with Aurora in her arms.

Sirius took the opportunity to tour the huge living room. Little had changed since his hasty departure three years earlier. The tapestry had remained the same, the furniture had just changed places... He walked to the fireplace where frames that he never saw had appeared. With a smile, he took in his hands a picture of Ginny and Harry, where the young woman gently stroked her round belly. Harry looked at her lovingly, while the young witch was staring at the camera. His eyes then settled on a second picture which featured Aurora in her mother's arms, at what appeared to be the first day of the life of the little girl. Suddenly Harry entered the frame to take her from the arms of her mother.

Sirius stepped to fall on a photo he would have liked not seeing : Ron was holding Hermione by her waist, and she finally turned to him to kiss him, a smile on her face. She had changed. Her hair was lighter and were raised in a ponytail, releasing her neck at the same time. She wore a necklace, but she had a horror of jewelry at the time - except one that he gave her for her 19th birthday - and her features were better defined. She was no longer the girl she was at the time, she became a young woman of striking beauty. Sirius could not help but feel jealousy dawn in him.

Sirius had to see her tonight, he knew it. On the other hand, he could not help thinking that she might refuse to come in his presence. She had fled four years earlier to be as far as possible from him, it was possible that things have not changed and that she didn't want to see him. For good. The thought troubled him, yet he thought that things would be easier if they didn't see each other.

"Can't wait..." he said himself.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Two knocks.

"Hermione. Open, please."

Two more knocks.

It was 6.45pm and Hermione get up reluctantly to open to Clara. The latter stared at her without a word before her supervisor clears the doorway to let her in. She closed the door behind her, Hermione resumed up to her office.

"What's going on, Hermione?"

Clara never called her by his first name when they worked together. Hermione realized that the young woman was asking her what was going on... Personally.

"You would not understand, Clara . And I didn't want to talk about it anyway" she replied, continuing to sign papers that she had to trasmit the next day.

"I still hope that your bad mood is only temporary. See you tomorrow then" she said, pointing out, visibly exasperated by Hermione's behavior.

Hermione sighed and stood up quickly.

"Clara , wait... I'm sorry about today, I really am... To forgive me, do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow? I invite you."

Clara smiled at her, her hand on the doorknob.

"Very well. I could tell you my evening with George in this case, we have dinner together tonight."

"Have a good evening then. Say hi to George for me" she concluded, while her friend sneaked into the hallway.

Hermione cast a glance at her watch and started to tidy up her things. An hour earlier, Ron had sent her an owl to say that he would find her in front of the 12, Grimmauld Place at 7pm. She does not have time to take a shower, to her great misfortune. Hermione took a mirror of his drawer and began to fix her make-up. She gave an annoyed grimace at her reflection before putting on her black coat and her blue scarf navy. She then took the elevator, and, arrived at the gates of the Ministry, she apparated.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

Sirius was pacing in his room. He had spent a lot of time to choose his outfit and had opted for a blue sweater with a shawl collar and a pair of jeans. He cast a glance at his general appearance in the mirror, and was only moderately satisfied. Certainly, his short hair made him look younger than he was, and he had tied his beard, which gave him a casual air. But he could do nothing against the wrinkles that ran down his face near his eyes, which were a clue to his age. At 43, he was no longer the young man he was two decades ago.

6:55 p. heard Ginny and Harry put a final touch on the preparations for the event and regretted not havingbeing able to help. He had proposed his help, of course, but Harry said no. He did not want Sirius prepares a feast that was dedicated to him. Sirius had tried to impose, arguing that it was just a dinner, but they did not listen. So he had spent most of the afternoon on his room, and was thus able to run a hot bath which had helped to free his spirit a bit. But now it was time to go down and face his old demons.

While he opened the door of his room to come down, Sirius heard the ring of the front door. He had time to arrive at the bottom of the stairs before Ginny opened the door, Aurora in her arms. He heard little cries of joy, hugs. He also saw Harry going towards the door, a smile on his face. Sirius was not close enough to see or hear what happened exactly, and it does not feel ready to move forward. He waited quietly near the sofa that the guests showed themselves.

A few seconds later, Ron went to him, a relieved look on his face.

"Sirius, damn, it's been so long since I saw you. I thought you were dead" he said, hugging him.

Sirius squeezed Ron awkwardly against him, torned between the joy of seeing an old friend andthe feeling of being against his rival.

"I'm alive, Mr. Weasley" he replied with a wink to his attention.

His gaze wandered behind Ron, but he saw no sign of Hermione. Did she have decide not to come after all? A wave of relief invaded him for a few seconds, but it was nothing compared to the wave of faintness that swept over him a moment later.

She emerged from the entrance hall, and nothing had prepared him for such a vision. Her light brown hair cascaded over her shoulders, and she wore a long red dress of the most beautiful effect. The light in her eyes had not changed, and he would have been able to recognize her among a thousand. Hermione.

He approached her slowly, as not to scare her, and he could see the light in her eyes vacillating. She was afraid of him, afraid of what would happen. So he put a reasonable distance between them, and greeted her with a nod.

"I am happy to see you, Hermione" he said softly to her attention.

Hermione swallowed hard, and nodded.

"Good evening, Sirius."


	4. Chapter 4

Aww, still no review? :( Not that I like reviews (I LOVE them), but it will be great to know if my story is terrible/so-so/amazing (well, I'm not confident about the last one haha).

Do you like it? Should I continue? Every input will be nice! And thank you, yes, you who added this story to your followed stories list ! :D

* * *

Time seemed to have stopped. Sirius' look on her put her uncomfortable, but Hermione could not resolve to look down. She also stared at him, noticing that his haircut was shorter than before, and that he got a thin beard that he didn't have before. Everything was so _real_, she was finally seeing him after four years away from him.

She wanted to touch him, make sure he was there, but Harry took her out of her torpor.

"Molly and Arthur told me one hour ago that unfortunately, they can not be here tonight with us."

Ginny, who was near Hermione gave her Aurora, before disappearing into the kitchen to bring drinks. Hermione smiled at the little girl who had at least the merit to divert her attention from Sirius. She however could not help observing him while she took a seat on the sofa facing the fireplace. He sat into a chair, letting Ron sit down near his wife. The latter put a possessive hand on her leg and Hermione gave him a questioning look. He was however used to do this kind of things : in private, he did not even look at her, but in public, he could not help but tell everybody that Hermione was his wife.

Sirius wasn't able to remove his look of the hand put on the young woman's tigh. Ron seemed to notice it, because he let escape a small laughter.

"I guess that you're surprised, Sirius? Who would have thought that one day, Hermione and I will end up together? Two wonderful years of marriage" he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Wonderful years..." ironically repeated Hermione, stroking Aurora's back.

"That's what I understood" said Sirius, who was searching Hermione's eyes.

The latter finally stood to put down the little girl in her park near the sofa. Aurore made some sighs of dissatisfaction before falling on her favorite toy, a giraffe. Her back turned to the two men who had each in their way marked her life, Hermione quickly closed her eyes and breathed profoundly. She couldn't let anything appear in front of them, and especially not in front of her husband. Of course, things weren't perfect between them, but she still had hope that one day, they'll find a way to make their marriage works.

Without a word to them, she joined Harry and Ginny in the kitchen, without noticing the burning eyes of Sirius which followed her.

"Is not it great to be together again?" Ginny asked her when the young woman came into the kitchen.

-"Yes, it's perfect..." Hermione whispered by pecking a piece of salmon.

Ginny turned her attention to her friend, frowning.

"Is something bothering you, Hermione? You do not seem to be on a good mood today.

"Oh, you know, work..." she said, forcing a smile.

The redhead nodded, and continued to fill the remaining glasses. Harry placed the already prepared glasses in a tray and took it all in the living room, followed by Hermione, who did not wish to continue this conversation with Ginny. Five years ago, they were all together. And _almost_ everything was perfect.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmauld Place , July 22, 1998_

_- I decided to start my Healer learning in St Mungo's in September._

_Hermione had finally decided to go and tell them the big news. It was the right time : Ron had learned the day before that he was taken in a big Quidditch team, and had decided to not start his Auror training with Harry in a month. Everyone saw his future take shape, and she decided to take things in hand and follow her heart which told her to turn to medicine rather than politics and administration._

_All were astonished at her choice. The first one was Harry, who predicted her a future for the Ministry a few days earlier. However, they all congratulated her, all except Sirius who had been standing a few feet away from her. When her friends returned to their concerns, he finally walked to the girl, with a smile on his face. Hermione did not flinch, curious to know what he would say to her... Or do to her._

_"I always knew that you would choose passion over reason... I hope this is also the case for... Other things, he whispered in her ear before joining Harry and Ron for a chess game._

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX**

Later this evening, they went to the dining room to start dinner. Hermione carefully avoided Sirius, who tried to keep smiling.

"So Sirius, how was your first destination? It was South America if I remember well... I had a few missions over there two years ago" Harry said while Ginny finished serving dishes.

"You're right, Harry, South America. Argentina to be more precise. I spent two months there, and I could count on people's hospitality. This stopover had definitely opened my eyes to the muggle world, I must admit it. Everything is much simpler in the wizarding world."

"Don't speak to me about it..." Ron replied. "Hermione always insists to make things as "muggle" as possible at home, and it is sometimes hell on eath..." he laughed.

Hermione did not reply, and began to carefully cut her meat. Too carefully, Sirius noticed, who preferred not to add something to not aggravate the situation.

"That been said, I enjoyed this lifestyle. This allowed me to disconnect me completely and to begin a new life."

"You never told us why you left...", Harry said.

"And I'm not gonna tell it now, sorry Harry. It was a combination of circumstances which led me to make this decision. I didn't want to go, you know,, but sometimes things happen..."

"And they always happen for a reason" Ginny concluded, thinking about the conversation they had a few hours ago.

Sirius smiled at her and nodded. Hermione was staring at him, memories suddenly coming back to her.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_August 14, 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_It was three o'clock in the morning. Exceeded by the heat that reigned in her room, Hermione had finally decided to go take a cold shower, hoping to be able to sleep after that. Ron and Harry were already sleeping in their rooms, and Sirius had slept out. As usual, she thought, heading for the bathroom._

_Hand on the bathroom handle, Hermione heard a noise from the ground floor. Trying to accustom her eyes to the darkness, she frowned, trying to see something. She cursed herself when she realized that she had left her wand on her bed._

_She heard another noise, closer than the first this time. Suddenly she heard something that sounded like the creaking of the stairs, and a second later, she could distinguish Sirius' face. The hallway light ignited automatically, and Hermione was able to see the eternal smile he got on his face when she was around._

_"What are you doing so late somewhere other than your bed Hermione?"_

_"I ... I wanted to take a shower..."_

_"Can I help you?"_

_She blushed like a tomato, and opened the bathroom's door to shorten this conversation. She was about to close the door behind her when Sirius interjected._

_"Wait..."_

_He was a few inches from her now._

_She could smell the light odor of alcohol which embalmed his breath, and she had a backlash. He took the opportunity to open the door a little more. His gaze lingered a long time on her lips, and Hermione found herself doing the same. Sirius was trying to seduce her for over a month, and she felt her barriers falling one by one every time he put his burning gaze on her. She knew that it was wrong, and yet she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she let him get what he wanted. At 18, almost 19, she had never experienced any of the sensations that he made her feel. So she let him come a little closer, and she could only close her eyes when his lips pressed gently on hers._

_Their kiss lasted only a few seconds, but it was hard for Hermione to come back to earth. When she opened her eyes, Sirius was staring at her._

_"Never forget that things always happen for a reason..."_

_With these words he left her alone._

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

To hear these words five years later seemed incongruous. Her surprise was seen by Sirius who stared back at her, intrigued by her reaction.

It was Aurora who broke this moment. The little girl began to cry, and Sirius got up instinctively to take her in his arms, being closest to her park that they had rolled up to the dining room to watch her. Carefully, he took the little girl in his arms, and she calmed down immediately. Ginny did not move, leaving Sirius take care of her daughter.

"She loves you already, Sirius" she told him. "I think that Sirius just replaced you in my daughter's heard, Hermione."

Hermione forced a smile, but she could not take her eyes off Sirius. He was a natural with kids, to her surprise.

"You never thought about starting a family, Sirius? It might be time to have a child, don't you think?"

Hermione felt Ron tense next to her as Harry pronounced these words. Herself felt uncomfortable, but for other reasons.

"I thought about it, Harry. More than once, to be honest. But I never had the opportunity to do it. Maybe that I still have not found the right partner" he added, staring at Hermione.

The young woman felt her heart beat faster and her hands tremble slightly. She quickly broke eye contact with the man in front of her and stood up, placing her napkin on the table.

"Excuse me, I do not feel good..."

With these words she left the dining room. Even Sirius did not understand her reaction. It was him who had suffered from her departure, then why did she pretend to be the victim in the story? Ginny got up after a few seconds, and began looking for Hermione. A cold had settled down between the three boys still at table, and it was Ron who broke the silence.

"So after South America, it was Australia, right?"

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

"Hermione, are you okay?"

Ginny's voice crossed the door of the bathroom, reaching her ears. Hermione quickly wiped her tears, but didn't open the door.

"Yes, everything's fine Ginny, don't worry about me. I'll join you in a few minutes."

Hermione closed her eyes praying that her friend did not insist, and it was with relief that she heard her answer.

"Alright ... Don't be too long, or I'll be worried."

Sounds of footsteps which go away. Hermione took a profound breath and splashed some water on her face. Too bad for her make-up. She held with difficulty a sob to the memory of the scene which she had just lived. After all the things they had lived together, how could he say such a thing? How could he be so mean?

Seeing him had been a shock for her. Four years without being able to touch him had been a torture. Over time, she had come to accept the idea of losing him forever. And now... Everything was coming back to her. Both good and bad times. All this time spent with him, the year which was the most beautiful year of her life... Everything. But she had to raise her head and not fall into the trap. She had to continue her life as if he had not returned, she had to.

After a few minutes, she dried the last tears which had marked her cheeks, and took a deep breath before going to the door. The dinner was not over.


	5. Chapter 5

"I finished my journey in India. I met amazing people"

Hermione had just taken place at the table while Sirius finished his story. She had kept her eyes lowered because she was afraid of meeting his eyes and lose her means again. The dishes had been cleared in her absence, and it was with relief that she saw Ginny bringing the dessert. So the dinner was almost over, and she could finally go home. Suddenly, Ginny turned to her, taking Aurora from Sirius' arms.

"Hermione, could you go in the kitchen and take the champagne glasses while Harry cut the cake, please? It's late, and I'll try to make Aurora sleep, she seems tired" she said.

"Of course" Hermione replied before heading to the kitchen, looking for the glasses.

She had just opened the cupboards above the sink when she heard a noise behind her, forcing her to return. Sirius Black was a few feet away from her, standing by the kitchen door. Hermione stared aa few seconds at him before turning her back.

"What's wrong, Hermione?"

His voice had slammed into her back, and she could detect... Angry? Hermione continued to check for the glasses, not deigning to answer him. A few seconds later, he was near her, she could feel his presence. However, she did not turn and did not answer.

"Does my presence bother you?"

She gave him a quick glance, and managed to put her hands on the champagne glasses which she placed on the worktop.

"It's your house, Sirius, I do not see how your presence could bother me. Now if you'll excuse me" she said, carefully trying to take the glasses without breaking them.

Sirius's hand suddenly rested on hers, sending an electric shock through her body. She stiffened, looking down at where their skin met. He hadn't touched her for four years. Four long years.

"Please, Hermione..."

The young woman looked up at him and realized that he seemed as lost as she was.

"What do you want, Sirius?"

Suddenly embarrassed, Sirius removed his hand and passed it through his hair nervously.

"I just want to talk to you. What would you say about... Lunch tomorrow?"

"I can't, I ... I already planned lunch with my assistant"

Actually, she did not want to lunch with him, not tomorrow, not ever. She wished he did not ask her that kind of thing, because she knew that it was hard for her to resist him. He always found the words to convince.

"So can we eat together tomorrow night?"

Hermione swallowed hard, thinking about what she would say.

"I can't either, Ron... Ron..."

"Ron has a game tomorrow night, he told me when you're gone in the kitchen to avoid me" he replied with a wry smile on his face. Then? Unless you find another excuse..."

"Well" she blurted quickly. "I finish around 7 pm at the Ministry."

"At the Ministry, you say? I thought you were in St. Mungo's" he winced.

"Things did not go as planned ... Unfortunately."

Sirius nodded, and took the champagne glasses. He was about to leave the kitchen, Hermione on his heels, when he turned around to be a few inches from her face.

"I may be the only one between us, and I can not explain why, but ... I am happy to see you again after all this time, Hermione" he whispered to her attention before returning to the dining room.

Hermione remained planted in the kitchen a few seconds, still reeling from their discussion. _I'd like to be too, I'd love to..._, she thought, joining the other guests.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"What a night" Ron said by removing his shoes.

Hermione went to their room and put on her blue pyjama. The rest of the evening had gone smoothly, and Sirius didn't speak to her after their discussion in the kitchen. She always wondered why she had agreed to have dinner with him the next day. She should have say no, say it clear she did not want it instead of hiding behind excuses. But she had never been able to say no to him...

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmauld Place, 25 August 1998 – 3 pm_

_Hermione was lying on the couch, a book on her stomach while she was leafing through a second, pencil in her hand. She had learned the day before the name of her teacher for the coming year, and she was really excited about it : it was Dr. Johnson, one of the greatest healers of his generation. He was specialized in pediatrics, but touched all areas. Learning with him would be a pleasure._

_She absently noted a significant sentence on hygiene to have in St Mungo's, when Sirius came down the stairs, obviously ready to go. He stopped when he noticed his presence._

_"What are you doing here when the sun is shinning outside? Are Harry and Ron still at home?"_

_"No, they're out to buy ice creams. I preferred to stay to get ahead on my learning. I 'm a little nervous to tell you the truth..." she said._

_Sirius sat down beside her and stroked her bare leg absently. She wore a small green summer dress, perfect given the heat that prevailed outside as inside the house. To Sirius' astonishment, Hermione didn't seem to want to avoid him. Had he finally managed to make her yield? He was not convinced, and always contented gentle approaches... Gentle, but suggestive. He had to admit that he was proud of him this time around. To win Hermione Granger, the young and gentle friend of his godson was not so simple, and Ron could testify. During all these years at Hogwarts, he tried to get closer to the girl, but she had always rejected him._

_And today, he, Sirius Black, had managed to finally have her. Was it that compliment the evening when they celebrated their diplomas which had played in his favor? Or the kiss they had exchanged not so long ago? Of course, he would have been able to bring a girl that night, but his instinct told him to go home alone, and it was the best idea that he had had for a long time since he got something as nice as what he left on that bar. It was even better, he thought, remembering the kiss he placed on her lips._

_Despite everything that she already gave him, he wondered if she would give him... More. He was a man, a man with needs, and Hermione was now a woman, no longer a girl. Her 19th birthday was in a month..._

_Here, lying on the sofa, with her bare legs, she seemed even more desirable than usual. He had only one desire, to raise her dress down her body and lie on between her legs... The so modest and reserved girl – or at least what she wanted people to believe - wasn't really like that in real life, he knew it. The gleam in her eyes said something else than the words that escaped her mouth when she tried to resist him. What would she do if he ran his hand gently down her leg? Curious to know, Sirius climbed his fingertips to her knee, then let his hand drift down her thigh._

_To his great surprise, Hermione did not move. She kept her eyes fixed on him, stoic. Yet he could feel her trembling slightly under his hand. Was it from desire?_

_After a few seconds, Hermione opened her lips, and her chest heaved faster to the rhythm of her breathing. What was he doing? And why didn't she stop him? She didn't know, but it felt good to be in this sofa with Siriu's hand over her, caressing her as she had never been fondled. She had spent two months to avoid him, and now she was letting him touch her so intimately... Why him? That was the question that was in her head every night in bed, when she could not sleep, haunted by images she wanted not to have in mind. Images that were always related to him. He was the only one who could make her feel things so intense, she had to admit. The kiss they had exchanged ten days before had not calmed her desires, far from it, it had multiplied it. Now she needed more, she needed..._

_She froze when Sirius approached her, his hand still higher up along her thigh. Instinctively, she slightly opened her legs so that he gets even closer to her. She blushed at his audacity, and she answered to the smile of the man who was now between her legs, his hand on her hip. He gently kneaded her skin, and took off with a quick movement the book she had kept on her belly. Sirius did not speak to her, merely express himself through gestures, and Hermione was grateful. She wouldn't know what to say at such a moment. She just looked at him as his face approached her. "Merlin, he's gonna kiss me... Again", she said herself when she felt his breath on her lips. She looked down at Sirius's lips which were only a few inches from hers, excited by the hand which continued its sensual massage along her body. Suddenly, their lips came together, and Hermione closed her eyes, putting her arms around Sirius' neck ._

_He groaned against her lips. He was surprised to see her give herself to him with so little modesty. He had thought she would tell him no, oppose him resistance, and finally, everything went better than expected._

_They exchanged a kiss that seemed to last an eternity. After a few minutes, Sirius eventually regain control of the situation, and slid his hand to her crotch. He felt her stiffen slightly, but she relaxed whe he deepened their kiss. He began to gently caress her when he heard the sound of the front door. Someone had just arrived._

_Sirius stood up quickly, and Hermione did the same. She had a few seconds to restore order in her clothes and open a book lying on the floor before Ron and Harry burst into the room, each with two ice-creams in hands._

_"The Ice-cream maker was nowhere to be found. I think we had to go around London twice before finding him. Really..." Ron said as he approached the girl to give her the mint ice cream that she had asked him to take for her._

_She took it absently, and cast a glance at Sirius who had risen. He walked to the front door without looking at her, while taking one ice cream handed to him by his godson._

_"Thank you Harry. I will not be long, I'll be back for dinner. See you."_

_He was out a few seconds later, the ice cream in his right hand. It would have at least the merit of put the temperature down, he thought with a smile._

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

She woke up the next day, still sleepy. Ron had left early because he had to prepare for his Quidditch practice of the evening. They absolutely had to win next week, and he was quite stressed by the deadline. Hermione went to the Ministry at the stroke of 9, and was happy to see Clara. She seemed to be happy, and Hermione was sure that the dinner with George was the reason of her smile.

"Mmh, thing that you have to say to me, Miss Saddler?" she asked when they took the elevator.

"A lot..." Clara replied , blushing. "But I'll keep the best moments for lunch."

"Okay, so I have to bite my brakes for a whole morning... Great."

Arrived at the fourth floor, they went to their respective offices, and never saw each other until 1, for lunch.

"So ? I want to know everything. Where did you go? Have you had a good evening? And. .. A good night?" she added with a wink.

"Calm down... Let me start from the beginning... We left the Ministry around 7.30, and he was a little late this time. He took me in a very chic restaurant a few blocks from here, it was a dream, really. The decor was fabulous, not too rich but not too minimalist either. Typically Muggle if I can say. I promise you, Hermione, no magic in this restaurant, not an ounce of magic. But it was not to displease me, a little change is always good. George seemed to be a regular, he even told me that he used to come here for special occasions with his parents when he was young."

George's parents were muggles. It was probably for this reason that they were so well settled when they first met. Hermione smiled at Clara, encouraging her to continue her story.

"Anyway... The dinner was fabulous. I do not mean that the meal was, even though it was fantastic, but the dinner itself. George was lovely, we talked for several hours. Even when we did not talk, it was not... Embarrassing. You know what I mean? I remember the boy with whom I had gone with a few months ago... Grant, remember? Well with Grant, the silences were... Horrible. I always felt that one of us would fall asleep after a few minutes. It's not the same with George, it is fabulous. The evening was fabulous, everything is fabulous" Clara concluded with a dreamy smile.

"And was the night also fabulous?" Hermione threw a wink to the attention of her friend.

"You can say it like that..." Clara replied , blushing violently.

Hermione congratulated her warmly. She knew that Clara did not fall easily into the arms of a man, and she was glad to see that for once she had trusted her instincts. In addition, George was almost the perfect man, she could not fall on someone better.

"And your evening, Hermione? Did you talk to Ron?"

"No, not really... We were invited at Harry and Ginny's place last night. Harry's godfather was back after three years of absence, it was a way to celebrate his return" Hermione replied, taking a sip of wine.

"Sirius Black, isn't it? I read an article about it two days ago in the Daily. The same newspaper that you had thrown in the trash if I remember well..."

"Oh... It's possible."

A silence set down between the two women, before Clara broke it.

"You do not seem thrilled with his return, am I wrong?"

"I do not see why I should not be. I am very happy for Harry, he had missed him."

Clara could fall into the trap and believe her, but Hermione had said it so fast that she seemed to have learned by heart this sentence. Still, she nodded, feeling that her friend wasn't going to tell her anything more. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Hermione put her fork in her plate.

"I dine with Sirius tonight, and I don't know what to do."

Clara could read several things on the face of the young woman : stress first, then discomfort. But what intrigued her the most was that there was also fear.

"What bothers you?"

"I don't know... So many things have happened in the past, things that I want to forget, and yet ... And there's Ron, we're married, but nothing works as it should be... The timing is so bad, Clara."

Hermione had never talked about Sirius Black. Actually , Hermione had never talked about her past with her, she knew only a few anecdotes of her years at Hogwarts because she heard Ron or Harry spoke about it. She was pretty quiet about her past, and Clara did not want to rush her.

"Are you going to see him then?"

"Yes, I think... He picks me up at 7, tonight, I will not cancel a few hours before. I just hope it goes well" she sighed.

"Regardless of your past, I think the best is to get things flat once and for all. It always weigh your relationship if you don't do it."

'Things are unfortunately not that simple..."

"Nothing is ever simple with you, Hermione, nothing..." Clara added with a laugh.

She finally lunch in silence, while all her thoughts were turned towards Hermione dinner tonight.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"I expect Hermione Granger" Sirius said to the attention of the secretary on the ground floor of the Ministry.

"Hermione Weasley, you mean" she said with a charming smile.

"Yes, I 'm stupid... Hermione Weasley."

It cost him to refer to her as a Weasley. In his eyes she would always be Hermione Granger. He had known her this way, and there was no reason to call her Weasley.

It was already 7:15 p.m. and she wasn't there . He knew that departmental employees had no fixed schedule, and knowing the young woman, it was more than likely she had a a lot of responsabilities. This meant a even more weird schedule.

Five minutes later, while he was pacing, he saw her out of the elevator. She was even more beautiful than the day before. Her coat on her shoulders let him see the short vermilion dress she wore with opaque tights and red heels. Her scarf was carelessly placed around her neck, and she seemed embarrassed. She forced herself to smile at him.

"Sorry for the delay, I had to send urgent documents, and..."

"Don't worry. The main thing is that you're here, isn't it?"

Hermione nodded and walked with him as he left the Department. She did not know what to do with her arms. She used to keep his arm as they walked down the street, but she knew that it was no longer possible. Then she thrust his hands into the pockets of her coat, and followed him.

"Where are we going to dinner?"

"If I remember well, there is an excellent restaurant a few miles away. We can either take a taxi or Apparate, at you want..."

They had to stop near a small deserted alley, and Hermione weighed the pros and cons. Apparate meant physical contact with the man who stood in front of her, since she did not know the address. But it was the fastest means of transportation, and she was famished.

"Let's Apparate, then..."

"Give me your hand."

Hermione watched him a few seconds, and eventually approched him. He gently took her hand in his own, looking her in the eyes, and a few seconds later, they were gone.


	6. Chapter 6

They reappeared in a small paved alley, out of sight. Then, they went to a restaurant not far from there, and Sirius held her the door so that she penetrates into the establishment. She got rid of her coat in the lobby and Sirius did the same. They were then managed towards the table that he had reserved in the morning.

« You seemed to think that the restaurant did not exist any more, and nevertheless, you had reserved » noted Hermione, sitting down.

« Not at all », he said. « I was just worried about their cooking. It was delicious in my memories, I am not certain whether it is always the case. »

Hermione was not able to refrain from thinking that he made a comparison between her and the cooking, but she tried hard to dissipate this idea of her spirit whereas the waiter gave them the menu. He specified that the day meat was chicken with vegetables, and made off, giving them the time to choose. The young woman took advantage of this moment to disappear behind her menu, hiding her embarrassment from Sirius. What could she tell him?

She eventually put down her menu on the table, having decided for the Chief's menu. She didn't manage to decide on what she was going to eat, so it was better and easier to do it this way.

« So, you work on the Ministry now? What happened to your desire to become a Healer ? »

Hermione saw him put down his menu on the table, and swallowed hard before answering him.

« I... When I returned to London, I just didn't want to continue in this way anymore.. The learning is long, and... »

« You had already finished one year, if I remember well. You just had to do one more year, and you would have been able to practice freely. »

« I know. But circumstances made that I wanted to begin to work right awat, and the Ministry gave me this opportunity. I couldn't refuse. »

« You seemed to like your training nevertheless... »

He)thus remembered moments which they had crossed together, when she could not stop praising her apprenticeship, when she told him that she had found her way. He remembered her enjoyment when she had taught him that she had validated easily her first year, with the congratulations of her guardian eight months after her entrance at St Mungo's. He remembered... Hermione stared at him, and saw provocation in his look. Provocation? Why did he want to provoke her concerning this subject?

« Yes, I really liked year at St Mungo's. But I finally chose reason over passion » she said in a rustle.

Previously, Sirius admired her to have chosen the most difficult way, but nevertheless the most gratifying one. To work on the Ministry was the easy way out for the young woman, he knew it. He also knew that she did not put her capacities in the service of the good cause by choosing this job, but it did not belong to him to judge her choice of career. Not at all, he tought.

« And what... Reasonable thing do you do at the Ministry? »

« I rule the department of control and regulation of the magic creatures. It's been three years now. »

Sirius raised an amused eyebrow.

« And have you always your whim to protect the house elfs? This kind of claiming and the Ministry don't seem really compatible. »

« I dropped this cause » she answered, blushing. «I am always against the methods used by most of the wizards, but I need to have a neutral behavior on my workplace and in the decisions I take. Unfortunately, I do not rule the department of protection of the magic creatures. Nevertheless, I try to instil a little humanity in the decisions which I am brought to take, it is the least that I can make. »

Sirius shook his head, intrigued by the young woman who was in front of him. Finally, he could say that she had not changed as much as he thought. She was always so talkative when she attacked a subject which meant a lot to her. It could be the magic creatures, either her studies in a certain period of her life. Even if her work at the Ministry did not seem so exciting, he knew that she always tried to do the best.

The waiter finally returned to their table, and they ordered. Sirius also decided to opt for the Chief's menu and also ordered a bottle of wine, and they ended up alone again. Hermione had begun to play nervously with her towel, and Sirius put his hand not far from her. He saw the young woman jump, and she suddenly released the towel that she was ripping conscientiously a few seconds before. She then postponed her attention on him.

« When did you return? »

Sirius had asked this question without even thinking of it. To tell the truth, he did not want to come on this subject at this moment, he had even thought of raising this subject at the end of evening, when they would have both drunk enough to be free to speak about subjects which irritate. He was surprised to hear these words go out of his mouth, and seeing Hermione's reaction, she was just as much surprised as he was.

Hermione stared at him, not knowing what to say. Of course, she had the answer to his question, but she was surprised. Naively, she had thought that it would have been possible to have a healthy relation with Sirius without keeping rehearsing the past. Even four years later, it was difficult to her to speak about this story to whoever. And even less to the person who was concerned.

« I returned some times after you left. In November more exactly. November, 2000. »

Sirius began counting quickly. He had left in September, what gave her two months before returning.

« Did you return because you knew that I had left? »

In fact, he did not want to hear the answer to this question. He did not want to know that she hated him so much that she decided to do such a thing. He had waited for her for so long, but she had not returned. She had not returned for him.

« No, of course not... », she sighed. « To tell the truth, I did not know that you had left London. As you knew it maybe, I did not have contact anymore with Harry, Ron... I had contact anymore with nobody during my stay abroad. I made the same thing that you did, in a way, » she said while the entries arrived.

« Where were you all this time? »

To ask so many questions did not look like him, and nevertheless Sirius needed to know. He said to himself that the more he would know about it, the more it would be easy to him to turn over a page, in a way.

« I don't know if it is a good thing to keep rehearsing the past, Sirius... It is a period of my life which I would like to forget... I do not really like speaking about it. »

«You owe me that, Hermione... YOU left without a word, YOU chose deliberately not to give me any more news. I don't even dare to ask you the question which burns my lips since I looked at you yesterday evening, then I just ask you to answer to those that I manage to ask you. »

Hermione froze, finally discovering the man who was behind the mask which he had created with difficulty. She was able to see, just one second, the pain he was suffering, and she didn't understand why. Why did he seem so affected by her departure while he was the reason she left? She decided however to answer him.

« I was in the South of France, at my aunt. »

« We had contacted your mother, and she assured us that... »

« I had told her to tell you nothing. To tell nothing to anybody. She knew, of course, she even regularly came to see me, but... I did not want you to find me, » she finished in a rustle.

Sirius did not know what to say. All this time, they had tried to find her, but she did not want to be found.

« Why? Why did not you want to be found? Your life was here, Hermione, I... »

« Yes, I admit it. I had a stable life, I was in formation, everything was great. But sometimes, certain things arrive and change everything. That was the thing, Sirius, and you know it better than me. »

She kept her look fixed to him, in search of any reaction from him. Reaction which did not take time to arrive.

« Oh, yes, certain things arrive and change everything, right, Hermione? » he said, a grin on the face.

Hermione didn't manage to believe in it. Four years earlier, she had been terrified by his reaction, hurt, and she had preferred to leave. With hindsight, she thought that he would have had a change of mind on the question, but the haughty air which he took to talk to her about it showed her that he hadn't. He had not changed.

She put down her fork on the table, and began a movement to leave the table. Understanding that she was going to leave, Sirius put his hand on hers, and implored her with his eyes.

« Please, stay... I shouldn't say that... You are right, it's useless to keep rehearsing the past. Please », he repeated.

The young woman relaxed slightly, and eventually released her hand and sat in front of him. However , she remained on guard. She had learned alongside Sirius that he could change his attitude in less time than it takes to say, and she did not want to undergo another affront like this from the man who had shared her life once.

After pecked in silence a few bits of salad on her plate, Hermione tried to lift her head and face his eyes. Sirius continued to stare at her, but he said nothing. He seemed lost in thought, and Hermione didn't know what to do to break the awkward silence that had settled between them. She chose to venture on a neutral ground, while the server removed their dishes.

« I understood that you travelled a lot during these three years... »

« Yes », answered Sirius by leaning on its chair. « South America, Australia, Asia... All my stopovers learnt me a little more on myself. It was very enriching. »

« You didn't go in North America? »

« No... I had planned to go with somebody in particular in the past there but... That was not made. »

Hermione swallowed with difficulty, and memories returned to her.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmaurd Place, December 18, 1998_

_Hermione had just put her hi-fi system that her parents gave her a few months earlier in the lounge. She had preferred to keep it in her room during several months, but Sirius did not stop being intrigued by this object, then she had decided to put it in the lounge, so that he can take advantage of it too. "So he'll stop coming in my room at anytime of the day to listen to some music", she thought, putting a CD in the device. Sirius had connected home with electricity, to the delight of the young girl who could now use her Muggle devices. The officer who had come to do it was somewhat disturbed by the appearance of the house and supernatural things that were going on, but he made no remark._

_The first notes of a song she had discovered at her aunt when she was on vacation in the south of France began to invade the room, and Hermione began to nod in rhythm. Sirius left the kitchen and heard the music, and he smiled when he saw Hermione dancing awkwardly in front of the stereo. He slipped noiselessly behind her, and took her by the waist to support her movement. Surprised, Hermione gasped, before letting go in his arms, laid her head on his chest._

_" I've heard this song before..." Sirius whispered in her ear._

_"This is a French group and the song is called New York with you, I listen to it a lot."_

_"Mmh.."_

_The song was about to end, and Sirius made her turn so she faced him._

_"One day I"ll go to New York with you, Hermione" he said with a smile._

_"Really, Mr. Black? I must say that this is an idea that particularly delights me", she replied tying her arms around his neck._

_"It's decided then. We will go together"_

_On these words, he pressed his lips against hers._

**XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

The young woman shook her head gently, as if she was trying to erase the memories from her head. A minute later, the main dish was already before her. She thanked the server with a smile, and turned her attention to Sirius. He did not seem bothered by the sudden absence of the young woman, and even seemed lost in his own memories. She cleared her throat, as if to notify her presence, and gave him a smile before begin her dish.

"So you're married to Ron?"

"Yes... We got married two years ago."

"One year after your return ... Was it not a bit rushed?"

"I don't know ... Maybe. We decided to get married six months after my return . Everything went very quickly from this moment, Molly insisted that the wedding take place in the year, you know ... Molly" Hermione said with a smile.

"Indeed, no one can resist her when she has an idea in mind."

"So we decided to get married in late August... It was the ideal time for Ron, the Quidditch league had not yet returned, and he had time to devote to it. It was a beautiful ceremony" she added, avoiding his gaze.

Sirius resigned himself to eat the piece of meat he had cut, even if his stomach was not in the mood to swallow anything. The marriage of the young woman was the last thing he wanted to talk , and he cursed himself inwardly for asking this question. And discomfort was not going to stop there, to his great misfortune.

"Ron and me, it was not ... It was not expected, Sirius. I don't want you to think that I came back in London for him, or I waited for this moment since Hogwarts, I... I was alone when I came back, desperately alone, and Ron ... Well, Ron was there, and he was the one that I had always known. Harry was only there intermittently , and I must admit that although I love her, I shared less moments with Ginny than with her brother before. So I..."

- You don't have to apologize, Hermione, especially not to me. Our relationship was ancient history in your eyes when you came back, you don't have to do anything"

"Our relationship was ancient history, not only to me, but to everybody..." she corrected .

Hermione couldn't bear to hear him talk about the end of their relationship as her sole fact. She had not decided to go for some trivial reason, she decided to leave because of him.

Suddenly, she felt tired. Tired by the situation, and the discussion. She knew that it was a bad idea to see him again, but she wanted to give them a second chance, sort of. Basically, she could not help thinking that this could have a successful outcome for both of them, but she was wrong all along the line.

Hermione felt her eyes fill with tears, and took her purse, looking for her wallet.

"I don't know why I came to this restaurant with you, Sirius, but I realize that it was a mistake" she began, rummaging in her bag. "Nothing has changed and nothing will ever change between us, I'm afraid ."

She took a few galleons that she laid on the table while Sirius had risen to calm her.

"Hermione, I beg you... I'm sorry, I promised not to talk about it, but it's not so easy. Hermione" he repeated as she was about to leave, without looking at him.

Sirius swore between his teeth, placed the money on the table and as she passed the door of the restaurant, just after taking her coat at the reception, he followed her. Came out, he took her by the arm and forced her to return to him. Hermione pulled away quickly, but did not go away.

"I repeat, Sirius, we can not act as if nothing had happened, as if we did not have a common history, a history that ended so badly. I want to make an effort in public, but I can not do more. I can't" she said in a whisper.

With these words, Hermione disappeared into a small alley and Sirius didn't have time to talk to her. A second later, she disappeared.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

Hermione walked into her empty apartment, and fell on the couch, without even taking the time to remove her coat. The tears that she had bravely managed to contain in the restaurant were returning in waves, and she buried her face in her scarf, giving free rein to her grief. She wanted things to be different, she wanted Sirius to act in a different way. She wanted to go back four years back and change her future. "I would have keep this Time Turner" she told herself, forcing a laugh.

The young woman looked around, and all that hung her eyes showed her things she didn't want to see. She saw the furniture she had not chosen, frames where you could see Ron's achievements in Quidditch. Her husband... Talking about her marriage with Sirius had made her understand the incongruity of its existence. She had thought to marry for love, but was that really the case? I like Ron, she said. I love Ron._ I love him_.

But the more she thought, the more she put in parallel the problems they had lived for over a year and the reasons which had pushed her to marry him.

But Hermione wanted her marriage to work, she really wanted to make things work.

Tired by the day, she eventually took off her shoes and laid down on the couch, still dressed . A few minutes later, she fell asleep.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmaurd Place , September 3, 1998_

_Hermione returned from his first day at St Mungo's, with a smile on her face. It was already 9 o'clock, but Sirius had said that he would wait. Opening the door, she smelled braised meat tickled her nostrils. That remembered her that she was starving._

_She went to the kitchen, and she saw Sirius, his knotted hair on his neck, looking worried._

_"Good evening."_

_He turned abruptly to her, and finally a smile lit his face. In a few steps, he was next to her, and kissed her on the lips before she took away her jacket and placed it on a chair._

_"Did you have a good day?"_

_"Excellent" Hermione said, sitting down. "I'm dead tired , but it's good I think... I met my tutor, Dr Johnson. He seems very competent, I could not be more satisfied."_

_She pecked a few pieces of sausage that Sirius had cut and placed on the table, knowing her love for these small pieces of meat. The young girl continued her story, always talkative when it came to talk about things that interested her._

_"He seems to give me a lot of freedom, I don't know if I deserve it to be honest. We studied a case of double-hex, very complex, and the patient was really a mess. Garrett, well, Dr. Johnson" she added, blushing, "let me take care of her, and I think I did a good job."_

_"Well, so many compliments on this Dr. Johnson... Forgive me, Garrett ... I might be jealous."_

_Hermione shook her head, before heading towards him._

_"You don't have to be. Although he is quite... Sexy, he's not as much as you are" she said with a smile before shaking against him._

_Sirius smiled and kissed her softly. He took her by the waist and pulled her towards him, before deepening the kiss. Hermione gently opened her lips, and finally he found her tongue, playing the soft ballet they had discovered together two weeks earlier. After a few moments, Sirius broke the kiss and pulled away from her to remove the meat from the oven._

_- It's ready!_

* * *

Thanks to my two lovely reviewers, and I hope that it will help everybody to do the same : show me some love. :) I hope that you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did.

See you soon.


	7. Chapter 7

Ron had just finished his Quidditch practice. The coach had retained them until midnight for some exercises after giving them their afternoon, and he had time to take a quick shower before being joined by Harry. They had agreed to meet after his workout to spend the evening together.

"Was Ginny okay to spend the night without you?" asked Ron, giving Harry a hug.

"Well, she was a little disappointed, you know how your sister is... She doesn't really like being alone at home, especially when Aurora is already asleep."

"Sirius is not at home?"

"No... He went out around 7, he had "an appointment.""

"Already a date when he just returned ? Your godfather seems to be an outstanding seductive, Harry."

"He always has been" Harry sighed.

Then, they apparated in the city, not far from a bar where they had their habits. The two boys ordered fire whiskey.

"Hermione didn't seem in her normal state last night... Did you discuss with her at home?" Harry asked.

"Not at all. Hermione and me... We are going through a bad period, let's say it like that."

"A bad period which seems to be long, according to Ginny."

Ron took a deep swig of whiskey, and rested his glass on the bar.

"My sister is right, as always... It's just that I don't feel as close to her as before. It seems to be worse and worse, and to tell you the truth, I didn't even make the effort to talk to her anymore."

"Is it indiscreet if I ask you what is the cause of your distance?"

Ron finished his drink and ordered a second before answering.

"It is an accumulation of things... But it is actually degraded when Ginny told us she was pregnant. I was 22 years old, Harry, I know I 'm young and in no hurry, but for some reason unknown to me, hear this news gave me ideas that I didn't think about before that.

"So you want to start a family..." Harry whispered.

"Yes, I think, and I 've spoken to Hermione about it. But she doesn't want it. Period. For her, the discussion stops there, she doesn't want children, not today or tomorrow, and she expects me to get used to it. But the truth is that I can't get used to it. I can't say that we will both grow old alone, no children with us... And I don't understand her attitude, so... Selfish. I would surely have reacted differently if she had left the door open, if she told me that it was not possible now because she had just started at the Ministry, but... She really said she never would."

"Ron, she's young, she's just 24 years old, I'm sure she will change her mind over time. Give her a few years, and things will work out for themselves, I am sure" Harry said, putting a comforting hand on the shoulder of his friend.

"You haven't seen the expression on her face when she told me that she would never want children," Ron squeaked. "she is determined, Harry, and I can't stop thinking about it when I put my yes on her."

Harry paused for a few moments, and Ron had just received his second glass of whiskey.

"Do you still love her?" he finally asked.

Ron hesitated for a few seconds, before planting his gaze in Harry's green eyes.

"Of course I love her, Harry. This is my wife we're talking about. I have known her for over ten years, and both years where we lived without each other have only strengthened my feelings towards her. But I don't know if I have enough love for her, enough love to accept the fact that we will not welcome children in our home..."

"Ron, you just say the most important thing : you love her. You have feelings for Hermione, and I am sure that you will be more miserable without her and with children with a woman that you will never love as much as you love your wife. Do not forget why you married her."

The young redhead nodded in silence and finished his drink slowly.

"What are you going to do then?" Harry asked.

"Go home and make things work out... I just hope that she will not confront me throwing to my face my indifference of the last months."

"Fingers crossed..."

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

- _Hermione_ ?

She heard a voice call her, but she didn't want to open her eyes. A hand landed on her shoulder, and she turned on the sofa, her eyes still closed.

"Hermione..."

The voice became more urgent, and Hermione finally abdicated. She slowly opened her eyes and she saw Ron's face in front of her. She slowly sat up on the couch, and emerged from her sleep. Her husband had the good idea to make the light in the hallway and not in the living room so she wasn't disturbed. He gave her a slight smile and leaned forward to place a kiss near her lips. Hermione recoiled, and Ron stopped halfway.

"You smell alcohol" she justified with a sleepy voice.

"I had a few drinks with Harry after training. Nothing serious" he said, kissing her hand.

Hermione just nodded. She was too tired to talk.

"What time is it ?" she asked.

"Nearly two in the morning... I thought you'd be more comfortable in our bed. You want to come?

She took the hand he held out to her and dropped her coat on the couch. Ron then noticed the red dress she had worn for the dinner she shared with Sirius.

"Is it a new dress?" he asked as they walked to their bedroom.

"Not at all... I bought it almost a year ago, Ron."

Suddenly embarrassed, Ron turned away from her to undress. When he returned to her, she was already lying in bed. A heavy silence fell between them, but both of them knew that they were not asleep. Hermione's thoughts were shared between Sirius and Ron. Ron, the man who was next to her, but who seemed to be more like a stranger in her life. _Is this a new dress?_... She knew that things were difficult between them, but wasn't it possible to pick up the pieces ?

When she felt a tear run down her cheek at the thought of the disaster of her marriage, Ron took her hand under the sheet and held her in his.

"I know I'm not perfect, Hermione..." he began without looking at her. "I know that I wasn't what you might call the ideal husband these last few months, I... I am far from it, I know. But talking with Harry tonight helped me to think about it, and I want to make our marriage work, I really do. I want our marriage to start over on a good foundation."

The young woman did not answer immediately. Ron's words were emerging in his mind, giving her the hope she had lost for over a year. She was too tired to engage in a discussion that, she knew, was necessary. She only pressed his hand, and approached him.

"I also want it, Ron. Give us a chance..." she whispered.

She felt the young man gently caressed her face, and a few moments later, his mouth found hers. The kiss they exchanged was full of promises, and it is with a beating heart that Hermione fell asleep.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Grimmaurd Place , September 18, 1998_

_"What do you think of Lucy?"_

_Sirius frowned slightly._

_"Hmm, not bad. Not a first choice, but I keep it in mind."_

_Hermione chuckled and snuggled against him. They had learned a few hours earlier that Nymphadora Tonks, cousin of Sirius, wife of Remus Lupin, was pregnant. They celebrated the news with a dinner. However, they made sure not to show their new complicity too much. It was almost a month that they maintained a relationship between friendship and love, and Hermione didn't know how to describe it. Things were moving slowly but surely, Hermione having initially learned to trust him. It was not an easy task , knowing what a playboy the man who was at her side had been in the past. But he managed to make her yield, and she had never done such a good choice on her life. Sirius was attentive, listening to her desires. They had no intention to formalize a relationship that they were not even able to give a name._

_To her surprise, Sirius was not as enterprising with her than with the other women he was dating before. Hermione could not help thinking that it was hers age that was holding him back, and she was somewhat disappointed. Not that she was dying to finish in bed with him in the next few minutes, but she could not help but feel less... Desirable that the women he had previously dated. Moreover, the comparison was not favorable to her. She wasn't really pretty, she didn't wear a lot of make-up, and even if he had managed to liberate her a little, she nonetheless remained Hermione Granger, the girl who did not had dozens of short adventures in her short life._

_Yet it was more than a month that Sirius partied less, he had begun to cook so they can spend pleasant evenings together after her long days of work..._

_Hermione had decided - under the influence of Sirius - to stay with him the time of her apprenticeship. It was difficult to return to live with her parents after seven long years seeing them only on holidays and Sirius would not be alone this way. Harry indeed left for his Auror training, Ron was in Yorkshire to follow an intensive program of Quidditch to join the national team later, and Ginny had returned to Hogwarts for her final year. Staying with Sirius allowed her to see the members of the Order, her friends._

_Despite all the precautions they took to not shed light on their relationship, Hermione had caught some suspicious looks from Tonks when she was talking with Sirius at the table. It was true that something emanated from them when they were together, a complicity that was their own and that was easy to guess when you were a little bit observer. Molly also suspected it last weekend when they had been invited for lunch at the Burrow. Everyone had also been delighted to learn that her training with Dr Johnson went well._

_"Jane maybe?"_

_"Using my middle name does not seem like a good idea" said Hermione, shaking her head. "I don't think that Tonks will enjoy it."_

_"And it would be foolish not to enjoy it. This is a very beautiful name, I would not be against using it for my own daughter" Sirius retorted, kissing her hair. "Do you use a new shampoo?"_

_"Yes, you don't like it?"_

_"On the contrary" he said, repeating his gesture. "Just that it is not in your habit of changing... Your habits, precisely."_

_"Well, yes, I can surprise you sometimes" Hermione replied with a laugh._

_Sirius did not expect to see the girl get astride him, and he could only close his eyes when she kissed him._

_"And I might even surprise you... tonight" she added in a whisper before repossessing his lips._

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

It was almost ten o'clock when Hermione emerged. She slowly opened her eyes, and was surprised to see that she had her head on Ron's shoulder, while he was still sleeping deeply. They had not been intimate position since a long time, and she could not help but smile. Pale sunlight crossed the windows, falling on the foot of the bed, prompting her to get up.

The young woman slowly pushed the blanket under which she was, and stretched before taking the direction of the kitchen. It was Saturday, and it was the first time in years she was able to have her husband home for the weekend. Making pancakes seemed like a good idea. Ron loves to put maple syrup on his pancakes, she remembered while preparing the dough. She checked quickly if there was some left and put the syrup on the table in the dining room.

From a distance, she heard the soft rustle of sheets , indicating that Ron had finally woke up. It was at this time that she began to fry the pancakes in a frying pan. A few minutes later , he stood in the kitchen, a few feet from her, an embarrassed smile on his face. He was just wearing a black boxer, and she returned his smile.

"You can install you at the table, I'll bring the pancakes."

He nodded, before taking a bottle of orange juice in the fridge and two glasses. Hermione was not long, bringing three plates crowned with several pancakes. She served Ron, then served one pancake to accompany him even if she wasn't found of it, and it's in silence that they took their breakfast. As she had predicte , Ron drowned his pancakes under a thick layer of maple syrup, and Hermione could not suppress a smile.

"What happens?" he asked, looking lost.

"Oh, nothing... Just... I missed these moments."

Ron put his hand on hers when she uttered these words, and they continued their meal. After several minutes, Hermione sighed.

"It will not be easy, Ron."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, putting his fork in his plate.

"I'm talking about the situation in which we are. I'm mentionning this obvious envy that you - we – have to fix things, to forget the bad things that we both did during those long months. I'm talking about this silence between us which is so hard to break, and..."

Ron approached his chair, and put his hand on her knee.

"Hermione... When I spoke to you last night, I knew things would not be easy. I know that there are... Subjects, things that cause problems between us, and I don't think that talking about that will arrange our problems but...

"Why Ron? Why can't we talk about that?" she cut him off.

He sighed and ran a hand through his red hair cut short.

"Because we will not find a common ground, Hermione , at least not now, and you know that as much as I do. Despite this, I remember the vows we spoke there was a little more than two years ago. Believe me or not, but I remember every word I have uttered that da , under a flowery arch that you chose. I remember that we promised to support each other, as we promised to try to keep in adversity. We never said we would lower our arms in case of problem, never..."

Ron wiped with his fingertips a tear that escaped the eyes of the young woman as she lowered her head. The hearing of that day made her aware of the distance that had developed between them. Nothing was as before, and seeing that Ron was aware of it and that he wanted to improve the situation in which they were stuck meant a lot to her.

"Hey, don't cry..." he said, lifting her chin so she looked at him. "I know I did something wrong during that year, and it will be difficult to pick up the pieces. I know, Hermione. But I also know that we are husband and wife. That is why I propose the following: I'd like to put aside all the subjects that annoy us. And Merlin knows they are many." he added with a smile. "I want us just thing about the good things that unite us rather than the bad things. If you're able to do it, I'll try too. I promise..."

He took her hand and brought it to his mouth to deposit a kiss. Hermione stared at him, drowning in his cobalt blue eyes. The man who held his hand in hers had saved herself three years ago. He had given himself to her uncompromising as she was cleaning the disaster that was her life at the time. The last was difficult for them, she was not afraid to admit it, but the words he just said meant a lot to her. Suddenly, the future seemed brighter, and even the disastrous night she had spent with Sirius before was forgotten. Why had she wished to see him, anyway? From the two men she had loved in her life, he was the one who broke his heart, not Ron. Ron, on the contrary, had finally opened his eyes and agreed to give a second chance to their relationship. To their wedding.

Hermione nodded, and finally gave him a smile.

"Yes, I think that I can do it, Ron. I promise nothing, I will not promise to never yell at you," she said, laughing, "but I am willing to give us a chance."

Ron stood up, and he pressed her against him so hard that she finally let out a little cry. He released his grip and kissed her lips.

"Merlin, I just have to kiss you to have my dose of maple syrup for the day" Hermione laughed, passing her tongue over her lips while Ron resumed his place at the table, a smile on his face. Everything went better than expected.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"Slept well?" Harry said while Sirius had just burst into the room.

"Don't remind me... I have a terrible headache."

He walked into the kitchen without a word, and took a potion against migraine. He waited a few minutes for the potion to take effect, and then went into the living room, where he collapsed on the couch.

"You were home late last night..." Harry told him, giving her bottle to Aurora.

"It's not what you think" Sirius sighed.

"But I understood that you had a date."

"An appointment that has unfortunately not gone as I had hoped."

"Who is this woman crazy enough to not want to spend the night with the famous Sirius Black?"

His godson had taken a comic tone while saying these words, and Sirius could not help laughing.

"It's better if you don't know who she is" he merely replied.

Harry was surprised at these words.

"Does that mean that I know her? Sirius! Who is she?"

"I would not tell you even under torture" he said, pointing to the stairs, smiling.

"Sirius Black!"

Harry's voice followed him until he locked himself in the bathroom. No way he confessed to his godson he had spent the evening with Hermione Granger, his best friend since he was 11 years old. While he was running a bath, Sirius brushed his teeth, before undressing and getting into the deliciously warm water. Of course, he used to take a bath in the evening, but he desperately wanted to relax after the night he had spent, he had to try to forget the disaster of his meeting with Hermione. _Hermione_... he thought before closing his eyes.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmaurd Place, September 19, 1998_

_Sirius got up early that morning. It was a special day because the girl who was sleeping in his bed was celebrating her 19th birthday. Unfortunately, neither Ron nor Harry had been able to come for the occasion, however Sirius had wanted to make it big so she can remember her birthday as one day out of the ordinary._

_He descended silently to prepare breakfast. He knew that Hermione hated pancakes, so he opted for a breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, Hermione preferring salty to sweet. He then disposed two plates on a tray and a small box which he placed in the top left. While he was about to take the set and move to his room, he thought to take a glass, fill it with water, and make appear a rose. Much better, he thought by taking the tray._

_Arrived in his room - their room - he got rid of the tray by placing it on the bedside table near the head of the girl. Surely awakened by the smell that emanated from the two plates, she frowned and turned to him, slowly opening her eyes._

_"Sirius, what are you doing there..." she whispered, still sleepy._

_"Happy birthday, my love."_

_The girl sat up against the pillows and smiled at the plate he finally had to lay on the bed._

_"I thought you'd like to take your breakfast in bed."_

_"You shouldn't have, Sirius" she replied with a smile._

_He sat beside her, and spent more time looking at her than eating. Hermione talked much as she usually did, and she did not notice the small closed box that was in a corner of the tray. With a smile, Sirius finally took it and handed it to her. Hermione gently took the box in her hands._

_"What is it?" she asked with a suspicious look._

_"Open up, you'll see."_

_She opened the box with infinite caution, and she could not restrain a "oh!" of astonishment._

_"Sirius... It's too much..." she whispered._

_She put her hand on the bracelet which was based on an ivory cushion. It was beautiful : she had always thought that Ruby was going with gold, and she was mistaken. It was a fine silver bracelet, and it had three small ruby at its center._

_"Can I?" asked Sirius._

_"Of course" she replied, giving him the bracelet and stretching her arms._

_He passed her the bracelet and Hermione could not help but observe it from every angle._

_"Sirius, it's beautiful..." she said, leaning toward him to kiss him._

_"Nothing is too beautiful for you, Princess."_

_"I thought you had given me the greatest gift last night, but..."_

_"I'm gonna stop you immediately : you gave me the greatest gift last night. And think again : this is not the best gift of the day" he replied with a smirk._

_"Excuse me? But I don't want other gifts, I..."_

_He stopped her by kissing her passionately, making her forget the current of his thoughts._

_"What did you say?" he asked, before kissing her again, preventing her from responding._


	8. Chapter 8

Smutty chapter, hope you'll like it! Things will accelerate in one or two chapters, promise. ;)

* * *

"_Dear Remus,_

_As I can see, you're still not back in London. I hope Dublin is a nice city. For my part, after three years away from my roots, I finally returned home. If you still get the Daily Prophet, - which I doubt, you who always hated this rag! - you surely already know._

_I don't know how to apologize for my absence towards you, but also towards Tonks and Teddy. I remember his birth and your blissful expression when you had him in your arms for the first time... They were wonderful times, and I will never forget any of them. I think that he doesn't remember his old uncle Sirius, but I didn't forget him._

_So I'm back in London, definitely. I always crib at Grimmaurd Place, but with Harry and Ginny this time. I don't forget Aurora , this little girl who starts to make me regret not having a family earlier._

_I have so many things to tell you, and I don't think a letter will be sufficient to redraw all the thing we have not been able to live together. So why don't you come here? I understand from Harry that you often have the weekend free, and Tonks aswell. The Portkey that Harry gave you before your departure still works, and I planned it to work on Sunday between 2 and 3 pm . No need to answer to this owl : we expect you and count on your presence._

_Sirius Black - Padfoot_"

Remus slowly folded the parchment and gave a treat to the owl who immediately returned to where he came from. A smile lit up his face at the thought of his old friend's return. He had not seen him since a little more than three years. Tonks and he had moved to Dublin a year before the departure of Sirius, right before Ted's birth. Remus had been transferred to the Department of Foreign Magic Affairs, and they jumped at the chance to start a new life abroad. He couldn't complain about his new life : he had a wonderful woman, a wonderful little boy, and everything went very well professionally speaking. However, the first year, he had felt a certain sadness at the thought of what he had left behind him, mainly friendships. Sirius's departure a year later had finally softened this sadness. He had realized that it was finally time for everyone to have a life on their own. And at 43, it was what he was doing.

They regularly returned as a family in London, and Ted loved to spend time with the friends of his parents. He had instinctively called them uncles and aunts, and he met his cousin Aurora a few months earlier.

"Is it a doll, dad ?"

Thinking back to that moment, he couldn't help but smile. He spent several minutes explaining to his son that no, Aurora was not a doll, she was a little girl and she would grow up to be as big as him one day. He was very surprised, and his hair had taken on a reddish color, as he always did when he found that he had said something stupid.

Remus put the letter down on the table in the dining room where he was sitting, and went to see his wife. He found her in the living room, playing with Ted. His son looked at him first, and smiled, as if to invite him to join them. He then came and crouched down to take a small car in his hands.

"I just received an owl," he said to the attention of his wife, while he was driving the car in the direction of his son.

"And ? Is it important?"

"It's from someone important. Sirius is back, he invites us to Grimmaurd Place this afternoon ."

"Merlin" exclaimed Tonks. "I hope he has a good excuse, because I will not let himgo so easily!"

"This means that we go?"

"Of course. We all missed Sirius during his absence, isn't it Teddy?' she said, ruffling her son's hair.

"Oh yey!" Ted exclaimed, arms raised to heaven.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxX**

"Sirius. Black," Remus said, a smile on his face.

"Remus..."

Sirius hugged his old friend on the steps of the door and vanished moments later to let them come in. It was getting cold at this time of the year.

"My dear cousin, I hope that you have prepared your speech to excuse yourself for this long absence! Not even a word for us, dirty sneaky!" Tonks joked, taking him in her arms.

"I didn't know that you were taking thing so seriously, Tonks."

She smiled at him, and pushed a little Ted towards him.

"Hi, buddy", Sirius said, kneeling down to be close to him.

Ted grabbed the leg of his mother, and hid behind her. Tonks frowned, while Sirius smiled.

"I think that he doesn't remember me..."

"You had long hair on the photographs..." timidly said the little boy.

"Yes, it's true. But it was necessary to cut them, don't you think?"

Ted nodded slowly, and eventually moved to Sirius who took him in his arms, and stood the boy close to his chest.

"We're gonna see Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry, okay?"

"Oh yes! And the little doll!" shouted Ted.

Remus and Tonks laughed at Sirius' surprised reaction, and followed him into the living room.

"I'll explain later..." Remus told him.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"...So you've decided to return to London, like that. On a whim."

"It's a bit like that, yes. I finally realized that my real life was here and it was useless to flee from problems. They'll always catch up with me sooner or later."

Remus nodded, while Tonks asked the question that everyone was eager to ask him.

"Why did you left?"

"Don't try, Tonks, I tried at least twenty times since his return, and he still does't want to answer me" Harry said.

"Well, I insist. And don't you dare tell me that you will not answer me, Sirius" she replied with conviction.

Sirius stared at her, weighing the pros and cons. He had never been able to lie to Tonks. She read him like an open book, and five years ago, she understood things about him that others didn't understand at the time. Not even him. However, if she was aware of a part of his life that was foreign to Harry and Ginny, and perhaps even Remus - he was not sure - he didn't want to reveal everything. Not now, not here.

'I've never been a really good person, you know" he said to everybody. "I've never been engaged to a woman, and for the first time of my life, I wanted to settle with a girl."

He paused, scrutinizing the reactions of each other. Harry looked surprised while Tonks was unmoved.

"It has unfortunately not gone as planned, and there came a time when I couldn't bear her absence anymore, and... I decided to leave. It's that simple" he said.

Tonks nodded, while Sirius looked away, unable to bear the compassion in her eyes.

"I wasn't aware, Sirius" Harry began. "I mean, it is obvious that I wasn't aware, I spent two years away from London because of my Auror training, but... I would have thought that you would have told me after that."

"There are weaknesses that a man prefers to keep to himself, Harry" Sirius said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It is not so important after all. I turned the page, and that's the main thing. Forget it, and focus on the moments that we spend together."

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Grimmaurd Place , September, 26, 1998_

I_t was almost a ritual: Remus and Tonks joined them for dinner, and Hermione was telling them her day._

_"I never thought of doing such a thing. Using magic to heal a sick is a thing. But we had to operate. I think the worst was to open the patient. Feel the resistance of the skin under the knife, it's a feeling I'd like to forget ..."_

_As she finished her sentence, Hermione felt Sirius's hand running down her leg under the table, and come to her crotch. She jumped from surprise, and did everything possible to ensure that nobody noticed._

_Sirius, without losing his smile, sipped his wine, and encouraged Hermione to continue her story._

_"And so ? What happened then?"_

_"I..."_

_Hermione was about to continue her story when the hand of her lover became more insistant against her pubis. A sigh almost escaped her lips, but she managed to contain it. She gave a burning gaze - hatred or desire? - to Sirius who gave her a wink instead._

_"We're listening..."_

_"I was saying that I did my first real operation. It was not simple, and obviously I have not done it alone, Garrett has helped me tremendously. You probably know, this is Dr. Johnson. I just did some acts... Oh!"_

_This time , she couldn't hold back. Sirius had put his hand under her panties and strove to caress the most intimate part of her anatomy, apparently in search of her clitoris._

_Tonks gave her a suspicious look._

_"Something's wrong, Hermione ?"_

_"No, no , everything's fine, I... I just remembered a crazy moment of the operation" she said without looking at Sirius._

_He was quite amused by the situation. It was hard to do it without getting noticed by Tonks and Remus, but it added more fun to the situation. Hermione was getting wet, despite the red that rose to her cheeks. She could deny it as she wanted , but she liked what he was doing to him, he thought with a smile, as he pressed his fingers more firmly against the entrance of her vagina._

_Unconsciously, Hermione waved her hips to be more in touch with Sirius's hand. She felt bad, terribly embarrassed to enjoy this intimate caress in the presence of Remus and Tonks. Merlin, he was trying to give her pleasure in front of two of their friends!_

_After a few minutes, while Hermione was trying somehow to continue her story under torture, Sirius finally removed his hand. To her astonishment, she was more frustrated than relieved. She gave him a questioning look, but he was not looking at her._

_"Remus, Tonks, excuse us. Hermione and I must prepare the dessert. We will not be long."_

_He cleared the table, and then headed for the kitchen, Hermione on his heels. She just had time to close the kitchen door before being attacking Sirius._

_"But what did you d..."_

_Her sentence was interrupted by her lover's lips on hers. He slammed her against the nearest wall and began to lift her dress._

_"I want to fuck you since the beginning of the evening, Hermione..." he whispered in her ear._

_Hermione, aroused by his words, let out a contented sigh and helped him when he tried to remove her pantyhose._

_"And you almost made me crazy out there" she told him before he took possession of her mouth._

_Sirius smirked and quickly got rid of his pants and his boxers before lifting the right leg of Hermione so that she was at his height._

_"Silencio..." he said in a whisper before penetrating her._

_Hermione opened her eyes in a second, surprised to feel him inside her so quickly. Sirius used to be soft when they were making love, but now he was taking her in a wild way, almost bestial. Nevertheless, it was exactly what she needed after the torture she had undergone a few minutes earlier. That was what they needed._

_She sighed against Sirius' mouth, who continued his penetrations._

_"I will not take long, my love..."_

_Hermione didn't answer, merely waving against him, coming to meet him at each penetration, always deeper than the previous one. She buried her nails into his neck, and finally closed her eyes, taking full advantage of the sensations he was giving her._

_"Harder, Sirius... Harder, I beg you..."_

_He tried to speed up, and it was only when he felt her vagina contract around him that he freed himself inside her, head buried in her hair to stifle his moans of pleasure._

_They took a few seconds before returning to their minds, and Sirius finally withdrew himself, leaving her catch her breath._

_"Our guests will be wondering what we are doing..." she said with a slight smile._

_"I don't care. We are supposed to "prepare" the dessert, isn't it?' Sirius replied , pointing to the cake already prepared on the work plan._

_"You are a genius, Sirius Black."_

_At these words, she placed a soft kiss on his lips._

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"Are you going to tell me what really happened ?"

Sirius had quickly gone upstairs to take the gift he had brought to Ted, and as he was about to go down, but Tonks barred his way.

"I don't see what you mean" Sirius boldly replied.

"Oh no, you will not leave this room without telling me exactly what happened between you and... Between you and Hermione" she added, lowering her voice.

"Because she hasn't had time to tell you about it during my absence? Oh, I forgot, it should not be something she is very proud of" he suddenly blurted.

"What are you talking about? Her marriage to Ron ? I think it is necessary to refresh your memory, dear cousin, but you were not there when they started dating, I think that..."

"I don't speak of her relationship with Ron, not at all. Good for her. Excuse me now."

Tonks didn't move. Sirius sighed, visibly exasperated. So he yielded.

"What do you want me to say? That she left me without a word? This is what you want to hear, perhaps?" he said , fists and jaw tight. "If this is what you want to hear, then yes. Yes, Hermione left, shortly after you moved elsewhere, and the funniest thing in this story is that she left with her fucking teacher. Perhaps you remember this hunk of Doctor Johnson, or do I have to refresh your memory? Well, now you know. So I beg you, Tonks, avoid talking about Hermione."

She didn't know what to say. She was seing this man in front of her, his face marked by sorrow, and she didn't know what to say. She would never have thought their story would end in such a way. She would never have thought that Hermione... Neither of them had formalized their relationship at the time, but Tonks had understood that something stronger than friendship bound them. Hermione had managed to settle down Sirius Black. They seemed happy together, and she would never have imagined that the young woman could leave him in a such horrible way...

"I didn't know, Sirius, I'm sorry..."

"You couldn't know, I 'm sorry I talked to you like that" he replied.

"No, I ... Have you seen her since?" She whispered.

"Twice. We had dinner together last night, but don't tell anyone about it, please. I must say it ended badly" he said, a nervous laugh shaking his shoulders.

"Of course, I wouldn't say anything. Have you talked about it with her?"

"No, not at all. And I don't want to, to be honest."

Tonks nodded and took Sirius by the arm.

"And what if we go down to think about something else?"

"I like that idea" Sirius said as he left the room, Tonks on his arm.


End file.
